


Ancestors: Meet your Dancestors!

by TheMissluluB



Series: Log Of Pesterlogs [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Captor Tech Support, Dolorosa is the Mom Friend (TM), Gamzee is a giant meme, Gen, Mind Control, Multi, Now is not the time for a Court RP Redglare jesus fucking christ, Pesterlog, Post Sburb/Sgrub AU, Relationships are mentioned but arent really relevant, The Leijons are adorable and will fight you as per usual, This Is STUPID, Why Are Zahhaks So Sassy?, Why Did I Write This?, dolorosa is scary, gifs, im only posting this because its over 10 000 words long, seriously GHB the Dolorosa isnt that scary why are you so scared of her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7592602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat decides to open a memo so the newly revived Beforus and Alternian ancestors can meet each other, and discuss what to do now they are alive again.</p><p>It kind of descends into madness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ancestors: Meet your Dancestors!

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I decide to write fics after 11pm. This thing is only being posted because of it's word count and is actual crack.  
> Also, translations for the Google-Translate Japanese and Binary is all in the square brackets. That's for reader ease, theyre not actually there in the memo.  
> There are mentioned relationships, but theyre not really relevant so I didn't tag them =/ Sorry

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW has opened the memo: ALRIGHT SHITHEADS, THIS IS A MEMO SO YOU CAN PRACTICE HOW TO USE TROLLIAN.!  
CG: AND DON’T SAY I DID NOTHING TO HELP YOU GUYS. NOW I’M GOING TO LEAVE BEFORE THIS BLOWS THE FUCK OUT OF MY NEWSFEED.  
PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] 22 MINUTES AGO joined the memo!  
PTA: what, no thank you for 2howiing you how two 2et thii2 up? wow thank2 KK.  
CCG: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
CCG:   
CCG: THANKS.  
CCG: YOU FEEL BETTER NOW, NOOKSTAIN?  
PTA: ye2 actually.  
PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] has left the memo!  
CCG: WOW, NO GOODBYE NOW, EITHER?  
CCG: FUCK YOU SOLLUX.  
CCG: NOW YOU FUCKERS CAN JOIN THE MEMO OR SOMETHING? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, OR ARE YOU TOO FUCKING OLD OR SOME SHIT?  
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA]  RIGHT NOW joined the memo!   
CTA: fuck.  
CCG: WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?  
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] added terminatedAncipital [TA1] to the memo!  
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] has made terminatedAncipital [TA1] an administrator to the memo!  
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] left the memo!  
CCG: WHAT THE *FUCK*, SOLLUX?  
TA1: Y0U KN0W, A5 AN EX-HELM5MAN, II THIINK II UNDER5TAND H0W A 5IIMPLE TR0LLIIAN MEM0 W0RK5.  
CCG: OH GOD ANOTHER CAPTOR.  
CCG: JUST FUCKING GREAT.  
CCG: OH.  
CCG: OH SHIT, YOU’RE *THAT* CAPTOR. SHIT.  
CCG: SORRY.  
CCG: DO YOU HAVE TO BE AS GOD DAMN SHITPAN ANNOYING AS SOLLUX? SERIOUSLY? IT’S LIKE HE *GETS* IT FROM YOU.  
TA1: WELL, II AM HII5 ANCE5T0R. IIT’5 KIIND 0F TRUE. ANYWAY, D0 Y0U NEED ME T0 HELP Y0U ADD THE 0THER5, II D0N’T THIINK THEY CAN GET IIN.  
TA1: II D0N’T THIINK MEULIIN EVEN KN0W5 H0W T0 U5E A C0MPUTER, LET AL0NE A C0MPUTER PR0GRAM. KANKRII T00, F0R THAT MATTER. R05A’5 PR0BABLY A L05T CAU5E, II D0N’T THIINK 5HE EVEN HA5 A C0MPUTER.  
CCG: FUCK IT, FINE.  
CCG: DO WHAT YOU WANT, I’M LEAVING.  
TA1: NIICE TALKIING T0 YOU, KANKRII’5 DE5CENDANT.   
CCG: YEAH. YOU TOO.  
CCG: BYE.  
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] has left the memo!  
TA1: N0W, H0W D0 II D0 THE THIING...   
TA1: THERE.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1]  added carcinoGriever [CG1], authorsCalamity [AC1] and grievanceAbettor [GA1]  to the memo!  
TA1: L00K, II 0NLY ADDED Y0U GUY5 BECAU5E THAT5 ALL THE 0NE5 II KN0W 50 FAR. II D0N’T KN0W ANY 0F THE BEF0RIIAN5, AND II D0N’T KN0W THE HANDLE5 0F THE 0THER5.  
CG1: D9N’T W9RRY A69UT IT, PSII. Y9U TRIED. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.  
TA1: THAT'5 5ARCA5M, II5N'T IIT.   
CG1: WH9, ME? 6E SARCASTIC? NEVER.   
CG1: WHY IN THIS SICK, TWISTED W9RLD W9ULD I 6E SARCASTIC?  
CG1: I AM TRULY IN SH9CK THAT Y9U W9ULD THINK THAT 9F ME, A HUM6LE SHEPARD, TENDING T9 HIS FL9CK 9F P99R, L9ST W99L6EASTS.   
TA1: ...   
AC1: :3c > ...   
AC1: X3c > h33h33!   
AC1: X3c > youre hilarifurse, kankitty~!  
AC1: >:3 > fucking owned, psii.   
CG1: THAT PUN WAS A STRETCH, MEULIN.   
TA1: Y0UR LU5U5 WA5 A  
GA1: Was A What?   
TA1: 01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 [FUCK]   
TA1: ERR0R 404: C0MMENT N0T F0UND.   
GA1: ?   
GA1: I Am Assuming Yo+u Are No+t Go+ing To+ Co+ntinue That Sentence, Am I Right?   
TA1: YE5.   
GA1: Yes...?   
TA1: YE5, MI55 D0L0R05A.   
AC1: X3c > X3c  
AC1: :3c > so, what are we doing here, are we going to wait fur the ofurs to afurive, or do they need to be inpurrted?   
TA1: IIMP0RTED.   
AC1: 3X< > INVITED. you know what i meant psii.   
TA1: OH, IINVIITED. WHY DIIDN’T Y0U 5AY THAT IN THE FIIR5T PLACE.   
AC1: 3X< > i said it in the second purrlace, that should mean somefurng, right?   
TA1: G00D P0IINT. AND YE5. THEY HAVE T0 BE IINVIITED. KANKRII’5 DE5CENDANT PUT THII5 0N PRIIVATE 0R 50METHIING, F0R 50ME REA50N. II D0N’T KN0W ANY0NE’5 HANDLE5, 50 II CAN’T IINVIITE 0THER PE0PLE. GUE55 IIT’LL BE JU5T U5 THEN.   
GA1: I May Be, Barking Up The Wro+ng Tree So+ To+ Speak, But Is There No+t A Way To+ Make This, Well, A No+n-Invite Thing?   
CG1: Y9U MEAN LIKE A PU6LIC MEM9, M9M?   
GA1: Yes, That. A ‘Public Memo+’. Is That No+t An O+ptio+n?   
TA1: HMM, Y0U C0ULD BE 0N T0 50METHIING THERE, R05A. II’LL CHECK THE 5ETTIING5.   
CG1: S9, M9M, H9W’S THINGS 6EEN G9ING WITH Y9U LATELY?   
CG1: Y9U D9ING 9KAY?   
GA1: Yes, I Am Do+ing Quite Fine, Thank Yo+u.   
GA1: It Is, Ho+wever...   
GA1: Quite Strange, Being Alive Again.   
CG1: C9ULDN’T AGREE M9RE, MA.   
CG1: WHAT’S EVEN WEIRDER IS 6EING AR9UND LITERAL Y9UNGER VERSI9NS 9F 9URSELVES, WH9M HAVE JUST GREW UP IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE.   
CG1: 6UT I SUPP9SE THERE IS A FEW G99D THINGS I CAN TAKE FR9M THIS.   
GA1: Really, And What Is That?   
CG1: I M9THER FUCKING T9LD Y9U S9.   
CG1: I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9 I T9LD Y9U S9  
GA1: My Darling Child, I Kno+w Yo+u Are Happy, But If Yo+u Do+n’t Sto+p This Instant I Will No+t Hesitate To+ Gro+und Yo+u.   
CG1: M9M!! Y9U CAN’T GR9UND ME, I’M A GR9WN TR9LL!!   
GA1: Well, My Vibrant Grub, If Yo+u Are A ‘Gro+wn Tro+ll’, Perhaps Yo+u Sho+uld Start Acting Like 0+ne.   
AC1: X3c > OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH X3c  
TA1: 0000000000000HHHHHHHHHHHH, FUCKIING 0WNED.   
CG1: D9N’T Y9U FUCKING START.   
GA1: Language.   
CG1: S9RRY.   
TA1: ANYWAY, II THIINK II’VE FIIGURED 0UT H0W T0 D0 IIT. Y0U KN0W, IIT MIIGHT HAVE BEEN A L0T EA5IIER IIF II WERE   
CG1: D9N’T Y9U DARE SAY THAT THING Y9U’RE G9ING T9 SAY.   
TA1: UGH, FIINE. II AM G0IING T0 TRY IIT 0UT.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] made “ALRIGHT SHITHEADS, THIS IS A MEMO SO YOU CAN PRACTICE HOW TO USE TROLLIAN.” into a public memo!   
TA1: II 5H0ULD PR0BABLY CHANGE THE NAME.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] changed the memo name to “LET’5 HAVE AN EXCHANGE 0F TR0LLIIAN HANDLE5 AND MAYBE BE FRIIEND5 AND N0T KIILL EACH 0THER.”   
CG1: THAT IS A H9RRI6LE NAME.   
TA1: Y0U’RE A H0RRIIBLE NAME.   
GA1: I Am No+t Go+ing To+ Argue With That, Kankri.   
GA1: If Yo+u Had Just  
CG1: M9THER!!!   
GA1: KANKRI SCARLET MARYAM-VANTAS.   
GA1: Do+ No+t Raise Yo+ur Vo+ice At Me.   
CG1: 6UT M  
GA1: No+ Buts.   
TA1: HA, Y0UR MIDDLE NAME’5 5CARLET.   
GA1: Eh Hem?   
TA1: IIT II5 THE M05T W0NDERFUL NAME. 5UCH BEAUTY.   
AC1: X3c > X3c  
garmentArchiect [GA2] joined the memo!   
AC1: X3c > you go miss rosa!   
GA2: What Is Wonderful  
TA1: KANKRII’5 MIDDLE NAME. WH0 THE FUCK ARE Y0U.   
GA2: Oh, I Am From Beforus  
GA2: The Designer Was My Title  
GA2: Before I ‘Died’ That Is  
GA1: 0+h Dear, What Happened?   
GA2: I Believe I Was Assassinated  
GA2: Someone Obviously Was Jealous Of My Fashion Engineering Skills  
GA1: Pardo+n My Language, But Screw Them.   
GA2: Hahaha  
GA2: More Likely, However, I Believe I Was Killed Because Of My Activism In The Women’s Rights Movement  
GA2: But Of Course, There Was A Slight  
GA2: Ah  
GA2: Mishap While Dying  
GA1: Let Me Guess, Rainbo+w Drinker?   
GA2: Yes, Exactly  
GA1: I Understand Perfectly.   
GA1: I Am 0+ne To+o+, yo+u see.   
GA2: So You Probably Know I Could Not Go Back To Designing After That, Because Everyone Thought Rainbow Drinkers Were Evil, For Some Unknown Reason  
GA2: So That Was My ‘Death’, And I Hid For A While, Possibly Changed My Name And Title Accordingly, But I Wouldn’t Tell You That  
TA1: 0H MY G0D TW0 RAIINB0W DRIINKER5.   
GA1: If Yo+u Co+unt 0+ur Descendants, Psiio+niic, That Wo+uld Make It Fo+ur.   
TA1: F0UR. WE ARE G0IING T0 DIIE. AGAIIN. PAIINFULLY.   
CG1: IT’S N9T THAT 6AD PSII.   
TA1: REALLY.   
CG1: L99K, IT C9ULD 6E W9RSE. THERE C9ULD 6E F9UR CRAZY SU6JUGGLAT9RS.   
TA1: ...   
CG1: ...   
AC1: 3:< > ...   
AC1: 3:< > kanfurry noo. dont wish fur somefurng like that!   
AC1: 3:< > why would you want that?   
torturousClowns [TC2] and audaciousCreativity [AC2] joined the memo!   
TC2: yo did someone say torture subjugglators?   
TC2: BECAUSE I AM UP AND dOwN FOR THAT.   
AC2: :33 < hi efurryone!   
AC2: :33 < i hope i can wurite well enough fur it to be undfurstandable X33  
TA1: LET ME GUE55, M0RE BEF0RU5 A55H0LE5?   
TC2: p m yea :oD  
TC2: Hi.   
CG1: N9 9NE SAID T9RTURE SU6JUGGL9T9RS, WHY W9ULD Y9U SUGGEST THAT?   
TC2: cause i dont mother fucking like them? Duuuh.   
TC2: WAIT SHIT  
TC2: youre not my ragey pale bro.   
TC2: WHY ARE YOUR NAMES SO SIMILAR MOTHER fUcK.   
CG1: WHAT?   
carcinoGuardian [CG2] joined the memo!   
CG2: Hey.   
TC2: there you are!   
CG1: G9D, 9UR NAMES *ARE* SIMILAR. DID EVERY VANTAS PICK CARCIN9 AS THEIR FUCKING ‘C’ OR S9METHING?   
CG2: Guess so. Makes no difference to me if I’m honest.   
CG2: I wouldn’t actually be surprised if they did.   
CG1: IS THAT PURPLE6L99D Y9UR M9IRAIL?   
CG2: Ooh Gog.   
TC2: [ >:o(](https://media.giphy.com/media/uXsPodwDXnitq/giphy.gif)   
CG2: Yeah. Did he mention ‘torturing subjugglators’ by any chance?   
CG1: YEAH.   
CG2: Yeah he does that, he doesn’t mean it though. I don’t think.   
CG2: Makara, do you mean it?   
TC2: YES. YOU MOTHER FUCKING kNoW THIS. I’VE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE I’LL KILL ALL THE SUBJUGGLATORS FOR SWEEPS NOW.   
CG2: You’ll be put in prison if you do that.   
TC2: ive been to court for less.   
TC2: besides ace’ll bail me out.   
greatestCounsellor [GC2]  joined the memo!   
GC2: NO 1 WON’T.   
TC2: you would.   
TC2: I MAKE YOUR GOD DAMN DRAGON PLUSHIES.   
GC2: D4MN YOU!!   
CG1: WH9 THE FUCK ARE Y9U?   
GC2: WHO TH3 FUCK 4R3 YOU?   
CG1: I ASKED Y9U FIRST.   
GC2: I 4SK3D YOU S3COND.   
CG2: Answer the fucking question, Pyrope.   
GC2: WHY SHOULD 1?   
CG1: UGH FINE. I’LL START.   
CG1: I’M P9ST-SCRATCH KANKRI VANTAS. AKA SIGNLESS-SUFFERER, LEADER 9F THE RE6ELLI9N 9N ALTERNIA.   
CG1: NEXT.   
GA1: I Am Po+st-Scratch Po+rrim Maryam.   
GA1: I Raised Kankri Since He Was A Grub, And He Calls Me His Mo+ther. I Am Kno+wn To+ Mo+st As The Do+lo+ro+sa.   
TA1: 5UP. P5II0NIIC HERE. AKA P05T-5CRATCH MITUNA CAPT0R. EX-HELM5MAN AND WA5 IIN THE MAIIN GR0UP 0F KANKRII’5 REBELLII0N. KIIND 0F EX-5LAVE T00. W0W, II AM 50 DEPRE55IING. II’M AL50 KIIND 0F KANKRII’5 M0IIRAIIL.   
AC1: :3c > Im Purrst-catscratch Meowlin Leijon. Disciple of Signless, and also his out-of-quadrant lovfur. Furst ship!!   
TA1: ME0WLIIN.   
AC1: 3X< > MEULIN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.   
TA1: YEAH II KN0W.   
GA2: I Guess That It’s My Turn Then  
GA2: I Am Pre-Scratch Kanaya Maryam  
TA1: TW0 MARYAM5.   
GA1: Fo+ur.   
TA1: II AM G0IING T0 DIIE FR0M THE 5A55.   
GA2: I Was The Designer On Beforus, But Shenanigans Occurred, Leading To How That Could No Longer Be The Case  
TC2: am i next? this is hurtin my pan crazy yo.   
TC2: ANYWAY.   
TC2: PRE-SCRATCH GAMZEE MAKARA HERE.   
TC2: shit happened is basically the story of my life.   
TC2: CALICO 4 LYFE YO!   
AC2: ;33 < yea!!   
AC2: :33 < im purre-catscratch Nepeta Leijon and the Laid-Back Sea Goat is my Matespurrit! h33h33!!   
TC2: <3  
AC2: :33 < <3  
AC2: :33 < mighty hunturress, and r33ly good at matchmaking!   
AC2: X33 < CALICO FUR LIFE!   
CG2: Hi. I’m Pre-Scratch Karkat Vantas. You may know me as the guy who yelled too much about how oppressive and condescending culling is and ran from the –Empress because of it.   
CG2: Had a posse consisting of a Lost Boy and a Legeslaterror. We had to drop off the map for a while, for reasons.   
TC2: TELL ME.   
CG2: Later, maybe.  
TC2: [:o( ](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ooh7WuPL1rxk0pjo1_250.gif)   
CG2: Oh shoosh.   
CG2: We dropped off the map, shit happened, and yeah.   
GC2: 4C3 4TTORN3Y PR3-SCR4TCH T3R3Z1 PYROP3 H3R3!   
GC2: 1’M B4C1C4LLY TH3 B3ST L3G3SL4T3RROR 3V3R.   
aspiringTraitor [AT2]  and glaringredConvert [GC1]  joined the memo!   
GC1: w3’ll h4v3 to s33 4bout th4t.   
AT2: 1 SWEAR TO gOG, 1F YOU TWO ARE ARGU1NG AGA1N }:/  
GC2: W3’R3 NOT, CH1LL.   
GC2: AND OOOH Y33S, 1’V3 B33N W41T1NG FOR SOM3 COMP3T1T1ON.   
GC2: >;]  
CG2: You did not just winky face at her.   
GC2: SO WH4T 1F 1 D1D?   
GC1: 1’ll b3 gl4d to w1p3 th3 floor w1th you, m1ss.   
GC2: TH3Y DON’T C4LL M3 TH3 4C3 4TTORN3Y FOR NO R34SON, M4D4M3.   
CG1: CARE T9 INTR9DUCE Y9URSELVES?   
GC1: N3ophyt3 R3dgl4r3, Post-scr4tch L4tul4 Pyrop3.   
CG1: H9LY UNRIGHTI9US FUCK.   
AT2: uHM, 1’M PRE-SCRATCH tAVROS n1TRAM, aND 1 AM K1NDA THE AUSP1CE GUY FOR vANTAS AND pYROPE, 1 MAKE SURE THEY DON’T K1LL EACH OTHER,,   
AT2: 1 ALSO, sORTA FOUNDED aLTERNAS1A? 1 GUESS,,   
TC2: you founded a mother fucking continent?   
AT2: wELL, sORTA? 1T’S COMPL1CATED,,   
AT2: aND HAS A LOT TO DO W1TH pUPA pAN,,   
AT2: fOR SOME REASON,,   
CG2: That’s because you are literally fucking Pupa Pan you idiot.   
CG2: And by fucking I don’t mean *fucking*. If you know what I mean.   
AT2: eWW,,,   
TC2: bro. why.   
TC2: I COULD GO FOR SWEEPS WITHOUT THAT MENTAL IMAGE.   
TC2: wait what does the brownblood bro look like?   
CG2: Why do you want to know?   
TC2: RESEARCH.   
AT2: mY TROLL sNAPCHAT 1S @lostboyfound,, };D  
TC2: SWEET!!   
CG1: WHAT THE FUCK IS A SNAPCHAT?   
TA1: II D0N’T KN0W, BUT 5IIGN ME THE FUCK UP. II WIILL 5END 50 MANY BULGE PIIC5.   
CG1: N9 9NE WANTS T9 SEE Y9UR WEIRD ASS 6ULGE, PSII, JEGUS FUCKING GRIST.   
AC2: :33 < oh! im going to add you too, mispurr Nipurram!   
AT2: oKAY! bUT 1’M K1NDA, aLLERG1C TO PURRBEASTS, bUT 1’LL BE OKAY CAUSE TH1S 1S OVER THE WEB,   
AC2: :33 < :33   
AC2: :33 < im @pouncellorcatburgler, but i cant get the hang of it yet ://   
AT2: aWW, 1’M SURE YOU W1LL SOON,   
AC2: :33 < h33h33, thanks :33  
TC2: babe. babe. BABE. CATSIS. KITTY SISTA. KITTY WITH THE BICHIN TIDDYS.   
AC2: :|| < im sitting, ruight next to you, gamz33  
AC2: :OO < OOH  
TC2: I KNOW  
AT2: uHH,,,,,   
GC2: LOOKS L1K3 YOU’R3 QU1T3 TH3 C4TCH FOR TH3S3, N1TR4M.   
AT2: tH1S 1S WHAT 1 GET FOR ACT1NG CONFIDENT, 1 GUESS,   
TC2: I CERTANLY DO NOT MIND THAT MENTAL IMAGE NOW.   
AT2: uHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   
TC2: uh  
TC2: fuck  
TC2: I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT   
AC2: X33 < hes turying to tell you that he furinks your hot  
TC2: wow thanks  
AC2: X33 < i furink your hot too  
AC2: X33 < very.. uhm.. what .. uhm  
TC2: get ya mime on if ya cant get ya word on proper  
AC2: :?? < how...   
TC2: get ya gif on*  
AC2: :!! < OH!   
AC2: X3~ < [ :OO ](https://49.media.tumblr.com/749a82cfa378f1644b5916713722555f/tumblr_nsnzm1Y2JH1uy7ta0o2_500.gif)   
AC2: X3~ < [ X33 ](http://67.media.tumblr.com/0e82fb5373dc8ddbf927635c68278fad/tumblr_nskpgzw2Hl1sfyp69o1_540.gif)   
TC2: [ :oD ](http://67.media.tumblr.com/e09af7d424c301a42e2b2213ff6cc9c2/tumblr_nce9pw2cM31su62kao1_500.gif)  
TC2: [ XoD~ ](http://67.media.tumblr.com/c6a08f7b958b305c7ceb97a34342bd24/tumblr_o1edgb7AFo1ui3syao1_500.gif)  
CG1: WHAT IS THIS?   
CG2: Oh Gog, not again.   
AT2: uHHHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,   
AC1: :3c > your picture langfurage looks purretty neat!   
AC1: :3c > I wanna learn it :3c  
CG1: PLEASE D9N’T.   
TA1: 0H G0G N0. II’M 50RRY MEULIIN, BUT 0N A G00D C0N5CIENCE, II CANN0T ALL0W THAT T0 HAPPEN.   
CG1: WHAT EVEN IS G9G?   
GC2: 1 DON’T KNOW, V4NT4S S41D 1T ON3 T1M3, 4ND 1T K1ND4 C4UGHT ON... ON B3FORUS 4NYW4Y. M4YB3 POST-SCR4TCH V4NT4S S41D 1T TOO?   
TC2: uhm does anyone know how to private chat  
TA1: UH. 5HIIT. UHM.   
TA1: II’LL CHECK THE 5ETTIING5.   
TC2: THANKS MOTHER FUCKER :oD  
GA1: I, To+o+, Wo+uld Greatly Appreciate It.   
TA1: II THIINK II G0T IT. APPARENTLY, Y0U HAVE T0 D0UBLE (HA) CLIICK THE HANDLE Y0U WANT T0 CHAT WIITH, AND A CHAT B0X 5H0ULD 0PEN.   
TC2: THESE ARE...?   
TC2: :o?   
TA1: 0H FUCK. Y0U HAVE T0 ADD THE HANDLE5 FIIR5T. THERE 5H0ULD BE A TAB 50MEWHERE 5AYIING ADD. THEN Y0U ADD THE HANDLE Y0U WANT. THEN F0LL0W THE 5TEP5 AB0VE.   
TC2: AH!! :oD  
TC2: GOT IT :o)   
GA1: I Am Co+nfused.   
GA2: I Feel As Though I Have The Same Problem, Oh Dear  
TA1: ...   
TA1: II AM N0T BEC0MIING TECH 5UPP0RT F0R Y0U. II’VE HAD EN0UGH 0F THAT F0R 0NE LIIFETIIME.   
twinnedArchitecture [TA2] joined the memo!   
TA2: look l4diie2, iin the 2ide-t4b on the riight h4nd 2iide, there, riight now, 2hould bee a bl4nk box. 4m ii riight?   
GA1: My 0+ne Has, I Believe, This Memo+ In It?   
GA2: Oh, I See It  
TA2: ok4y, you 2ee iit. gre4t, that’2 one problem 2olved. now, 4 liitle w4y2 up, there ii2 4n “4dd handle” button, you 2ee? iif/when you do, cliick iit. 4 2m4ll window wiill pop up. 4dd the h4ndle2 you wii2h two 4dd. pre22 the 4dd button. you h4ve now 4dded them two your h4ndle lii2t. follow the 2tep2 4bove iif you wii2h two ch4t wiith that troll.   
GA1: Thank Yo+u, That Was Certainly Very Helpful.   
GA2: Yes, Quite, Thank You Very Much  
TA2: no problem. ii de4l wiith thii2 2hiit ne4rly every d4y 4nd niight of my liife.   
CG1: I’M G9ING T9 HAZARD A GUESS THAT Y9U’RE AN9THER CAPT9R.   
TA2: erm, ye4h, how the fuck diid you know?   
CG1: I’VE 6EEN AR9UND 9NE L9NG EN9UGH T9 DISTINGUISH CAPT9R-ESQUE TRAITS.   
CG1: F9R EXAMPLE, SNARKY ASSH9LISHNESS.   
TA2: why th4nk you.   
CG1: EXACTLY MY P9INT.   
TA1: 50, WH0 THE FUCK ARE Y0U THEN, Y’KN0W, BE5IDE5 BEIING A CAPT0R.   
TA2: pre-2cr4tch 2ollux c4ptor. ii helped m4ke 4 det4ch4ble helm2riig, 4long2iide 2ome tech 24vvy wriigler prodiigy. ii 2ort4 piiloted 4 crui2e 2hip on beforu2 before 2ome 2hen4niigan2 c4u2ed me two 4lmo2t blow out, 4nd get 4mne2ii4.   
TA2: ii got better.   
TA2: ii thiink.   
TA2: n4vii, diid ii get better?   
cruiseAttendant [CA2] joined the memo!   
CA2: youre gettin there pi.   
CA2: youre gettin there.   
TA2: th4nk2 for the vote of confiidence.   
CA2: you asked!   
CG1: AND WH9 ARE Y9U?   
CA2: who are you? and why are you yellin?   
TA2: that’2 ju2t how he do n4vii.   
TA2: 4l2o, 2croll up 2ome. beec4u2e iit’2 poiintle22 repe4tiing your2elf 4ll the tiime.   
CA2: aah, okay. oh, and im navigator, or ‘navi’ for short. ex-negotiator cause the –empress is a humongous bitchtart.   
TA2: N4VII, PLE42E, WOULD YOU S4Y SOMEFIIN NIICE 4BOUT HER FOR ONCE??   
CA2: shes my kismesis i dont think thats in the equation to be nice, pi. but good on you for tryin.   
TA2: 2he’2 my M4TE2PRIIT, N4VII.   
CA2: can we accept that we wont agree on our opinions of the -empress?   
CA2: before we end up shameglobes deep in another pedantic argument over whos more stubborn.   
TA2: ugh fiine. we’ll ch4t priiv4tely. you w4tch thii2 2p4ce.   
CA2: <>   
TA2: <>   
TA1: WHAT.   
TA1: THE.   
TA1: 5HIITA5TIIC.   
TA1: FUCK.   
TA1: N0PE.   
CG1: PSII, CHILL.   
TA1: N000000000PE.   
CG1: M9M HELP.   
TA1: N000000000000000000000PEEEE.   
GA1: Yo+u Can Handle Yo+ur 0+wn Quadrants, My Precio+us Grub.   
CG1: M9M!   
CG1: ):B   
CG1: S9ME9NE HELP ME PLEASE. I CAN’T DEAL WITH HIM WHEN HE’S 6EING LIKE THIS.   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] joined the memo!   
TC1: bein up an like what?   
AC1: 3X< > HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS  
TA1: N0000000000000000000000000000PEEEEEEEEEE.   
TC1: OOH. CAPTOR STOP.   
TA1: N000PE.   
TC1: please?   
TA1: HE’5 PALE WIITH A 5EADWELLER II CAN’T DEAL. AND IIN FLU5H WIITH AN0THER 0NE.   
TA2: WOW, II’D 4PPRECII4TE IIT IIF YOU DIIDN’T DI22 MY QU4DR4NT CHOIICE2.   
TC1: EVERYONE CHILL THE MOTHER *FUCK* OUT.   
TC1: why is there two of you.   
TC1: :o?   
TC1: i am confusion.   
TC2: OH GOG DaMn IT.   
TC1: WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK IS UP AND HAPPENIN RIGHT NOW I DE-MOTHERFUCKING-MAND TO KNOW.   
CG1: L99K, THERE ARE 6EF9RUS AND ALTERNIAN C9UNTERPARTS F9R EACH PLAYER 9F THE WRIGGLERS SESSI9N. WE’RE FR9M THE ALTERNIAN SESSI9N (I.E. WE’RE THE 9NES WITH THE ‘1’ AFTER THEIR HANDLE), THE TR9LLS WITH THE ‘2’ AFTER THEIR HANDLE ARE FR9M THE 6EF9RUS SESSI9N. WE ARE T9 THE WRIGGLER PLAYERS 9F THE ALTERNIAN SESSI9N AS THEY ARE T9 THE WRIGGLER PLAYERS OF THE 6EF9RUS SESSI9N. THAT IS T9 SAY, THEIR ANCEST9RS. THIS MEM9 IS JUST F9R US T9 USE T9 TEST H9W T9 USE TR9LLIAN, A MESSAGING SYSTEM THE WRIGGERS USED DURING THEIR RESPECTIVE SESSI9NS. THE HUMANS USED A SIMILAR SYSTEM KN9WN AS PESTERCHUM (9R THE )(IC MIND-C9NTR9L VERSI9N, 6ETTY-B9THER, AS WAS THE CASE WITH 9NE 9F THE ALPHA HUMANS), WHICH HAD SIMILAR C9DING T9 THAT 9F TR9LLIAN, AND THEREF9RE C9ULD 6E USED T9 C9NTACT EACH 9THER, WITH9UT HAVING T9 CHANGE THEIR PREFERRED MESSAGING SYSTEM. WHY THIS IS HAPPENING IS S9 WE CAN C9NTACT EACH 9THER M9RE EASILY IF WE END UP T99 FAR AWAY IN TERMS 9F WALKING DISTANCE, S9 WE D9N’T HAVE T9 SPEND 2 FUCKING H9URS T9 GET T9 S9ME ASSH9LES PLACE T9 TELL THEM THEIR 6EING A FUCKING IDI9T AGAIN.   
CG1: Y9U GET ALL 9F THAT?   
TC1: YEEAAAAAAAAAAA NO.   
TC1: i did not get that at all.   
courteousTradition [CT1] joined the memo!   
CT1: D=> Long story e%tremely short, there is two of everyone now and this memo is for everyone to meet one another.   
TC1: OOOOOOOHHHHHH. I GETCHA.   
TC2: gEtChA HEAD IN THE GAME?   
AC2: X33 < WILDCATS!!   
TC2: I knew you would get that reference :oD  
AC2: X33 < [X33](https://media.giphy.com/media/8j2wrmWdc0Kf6/giphy.gif)  
TC2: [XoD ](https://media.giphy.com/media/ylb0GfI0eXkpq/giphy.gif)   
CG2: Erm, who the fuck exactly *are* you two?   
TC1: you dont gotcha knowledge on me? seriously? :o?   
CT1: D=> Please, pardon his lack of a coherent thinkpan, he is simply an idiot.   
TC2: ehehehehehehe  
TC1: NOT COOL BRO.   
CT1: D=> I am Post-Scratch Horuss Zahhak, troll of many titles, including but not limited to: ‘E%ecutor’, ‘E%patri8’, and (unfortunately) ‘Ponymaid’. I mainly go by the title ‘Darkleer’, however.   
TC1: I REMEMBER PONY MAID :oD   
TC1: good times.   
CT1: D=> No. No it was not.   
TC1: GOOOOOOOOOOD TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMES.   
TC1: :o)   
CT1: D=> That idiot above is Post-Scratch Kurloz Makara. Alternian leader of the Subjugglators.   
TC2: knew it. and he’s related to me GrEeEeAaAaAt.   
TC2: GOOD LUCK GETTIN INTO MOTHER FUCKING TALKS WITH THE BEFORUS GHB. MAKARAS ARE BANNED FROM ENTERING THERE.   
TC2: well at least i am anyway LmAoOoOoOo.   
TC1: WOW THANKS BRO.   
TC2: kinda guessed it rolled down to the descendant level but ya never know :o/  
TC1: that saves alotta heap a paperwork i didn’t wanna do yet.   
CT1: D=> Great. Who’s idea was it to put four Makaras in the same universe?   
CG2: The game the kids played, I guess.   
TA1: THE 5AME PER50N WH0 DECIDED T0 PUT 4 MARYAM5 IIN THE 5AME UNIIVER5E.   
TC1: MESSIAHS ABOVE!   
TC1: :oO  
TC2: ugh  
GA1: Do+ Yo+u Two+ Have A Pro+blem With That?   
TC1: HONK??!!!!   
TC1:   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] left the memo!   
CG1: H9LY SHIT M9M, Y9U ACTUALLY SCARED HIM.   
CG1: Y9U SCARED THE LEADER 9F THE SCARIEST 6L99DCASTE 9N ALTERNIA.   
GA1: Pardo+n The Uncharacteristic Use 0+f An Emo+tico+n, But:   
GA1: :)   
CG1: M9M.   
GA1: :)   
CG1: M9M, PLEASE.   
GA1: :)   
CG1: 9H MY G9G.   
TC2: I don’t be havin no problems with you miss, not with you at the mother fuck all. im just an atheist.   
TA1: 0H G0G.   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] joined the memo!   
TC1: WHAT THE MOTHER ***FUCK***?!  
TC2: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   
TC1: OH NO.   
TC1: OH MOTHER *FUCK* NO.   
TC1: IMMA SMITE YA HERETIC ASS.   
TC2: [:o) ](https://media.giphy.com/media/DlhlO5SNULVxS/giphy.gif)  
CG1: GH6, Y9U’D 6ETTER CALM THE FUCK D9WN RIGHT N9W, 9R I SWEAR T9 G9G 9R ANY N99KSNIFFING ASSH9LE THAT IS LISTENING, I WILL G9 9VER T9 WHEREVER THE FUCK Y9U ARE RIGHT N9W AND FUCKING PAP THE EVER L9VING SHIT 9UT 9F Y9U, D9 Y9U HEAR ME?   
TC1: :o|  
TC1: HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT GETTING ITS RIDE ALL UP AND ON A UNICYCLE.   
AC1: 3:< > kankitty? whats going on between you and psii and ... that guy?   
TC1: wow.   
AC1: 3X< > HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS  
CG1: MEULIN, SH99SH Y9UR RUM6LESPHERES. SH9999999SH.   
AC1: 3:< > ...   
CG1: AND... WELL...   
CG1: THE DREAM6U66LES WERE A VERY WEIRD PLACE, MEULIN. I’M SURE Y9U CAN ATTEST T9 THAT.   
AC1: :3C > i can, yes. so...?   
CG1:   
CG1: I’VE JUST SENT Y9U A MESSAGE PRIVATELY, L99K AT IT AND TELL ME WHAT Y9U THINK.   
AC1: :3c > oki!   
GA1: Sent What?   
CG1: D9 Y9U WANT T9 READ IT T99?   
GA1: Yes, Please.   
CG1:   
CG1: 9KAY, I’VE SENT IT T9 Y9U, T99.   
TA1: 0H MERCIIFUL CELE5TIIAL BEIING5, KANKRII WHY.   
TA1: WHY DIID Y0U D0 THAT.   
CG1: WELL PSII, SHE W9ULD HAVE F9UND 9UT S99NER 9R LATER. TRUST ME.   
TA1: WELL YEAH BUT. WHY.   
CG1: RATHER N9W THAN LATER. LESS 6RUTAL VI9LENCE AND EVENTUAL CULLING.   
TA1: G00D P0IINT.   
GA2: What Does Culling Have To Do With Violence  
TA2: ii2n’t th4t 4 moiir4iil2 job two make 2ure 2omeone doe2n’t get kiilled?   
AC2: :// < i furink we have a diffurent defurrnition of culling to alternians. culling here means looking affur/taking care of, i furink.   
CG1: AAH YES, THE W9RLD I WANTED 6ACK WHEN I WAS 9N ALTERNIA. I DIED F9R THAT.   
TA2: wo4h, what the FUCK.   
TA1: CULLIING IIN THE ALTERNIIAN 5EN5E MEAN5 BA5IICALLY A BRUTAL EXCECUTII0N, 0R IIF THE )(IIC II5 B0RED, 0R CAN’T BE AR5ED F0R ELAB0RATE EXECUTII0N5, 5TABBED WIITH A CULLING F0RK. AKA A 2x3DENT.   
CG2: ...   
CG2: I suddenly feel like a fucking idiot. I really didn’t know how good I had it.   
CG1: THIS ISN’T THE PAIN 9LYMPICS, Y'KN9W, Y9U JUST HAD A DIFFERENT KIND 9F 6AD.   
AC1: :3c >   
AC1: X3c > 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!   
AC1: X3c > >:3c  
CG1: Y9U CAN’T PULL A >:3c IT HAS T9 6E EITHER >:3 9R :3c. IT CAN’T 6E 69TH. L99K AT WHAT Y9U’VE D9NE. Y9U’VE CREATED A M9NSTER, MEULIN.   
AC1: 3:< > YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME EARLIFUR!! (^-Λ-^)  
CG1: YEAH, S9RRY A69UT THAT.   
CG1: I WAS MEANING T9 6UT 9THER THINGS KEPT P9PPING UP. F9R EXAMPLE, N9T 6EING DEAD ANYM9RE.   
AC1: :3c > true, yeah.   
CT1: D=> Uh, Miss Leijon. How lovely to hear from you again.   
AC1: 3:< > UGH GO AWAY, YOU IDIOT  
TC1: HA, MOTHER FUCKING OWNED.   
CT1: D=> I mean this in the most polite way, but please proceed to shove your ridiculously huge club up your wasteshoot and die.   
TC1: im going to all up and be taking that as a challenge.   
CT1: D=> DO NOT  
TC1: DOIN IT ANYWAY.   
CT1: D=>   
CT1: D=> You’re going to die?   
CT1: D=> Well, that sure is a relief.   
TC1: who be saying anything about dying i  
TC1:   
TC1: oh  
TC1: THAT’S MOTHER FUCKING MEAN, BRO. :o(  
CT1: D=> Well m  
CT1: D=>   
CT1: D=> Oh goodness gracious, not this again.   
CT1: D=> I’m opening a private chat with you, be sure to respond to it.   
TC1: how do i  
TC1: SOMETHING IS ALL UP AND GETTING ITS FLASH ON I’M GOING TO CLICK IT.   
TA1: D0N’T D0 IIT IIT PR0BABLY LEAD5 T0 A VIIRU5 HUB. 0R P0RNHUB. TH0UGH II W0ULDN’T MIIND IIF IIT WERE P0RNHUB.   
TC1: imma click it anyways though cause i secretly got my knowledge that it isn’t really a viral that’s gonne be getting its virus on at my device. or pornhub, sadly :’o(  
CG1: WHAT’S A P9RNHU6?   
TA1: WEB5IITE FULL 0F P0RN.   
CG1: WHAT’S P9RN?   
TA1:   
TA1: ...   
TA1: ERR0R 404: C0MMENT N0T F0UND.   
TA1: <C0MMENT DELETED>   
TA1: <C0MMENT DELETED>   
TA1: <REDACTED>   
TA1: <REDACTED>   
TA1: 5Y5TEM ERR0R: FILE “KANKRII Y0U 5WEET 5UMMER CHIILD, II WIILL TEACH Y0U THE GL0RY5 0F P0RN – )(IIC BANNED IIT 0N ALTERNIIA AT 50MEP0IINT CAU5E II PI55ED HER 0FF BY PLAYIING IIT N0N–5T0P 0N HER FLAG5HIIP BUT THEN UNBANNED IIT LIIKE TW0 5WEEP5 LATER CAU5E 5HE G0T B0RED” N0T F0UND. 5EARCHIING DRIIVE5...   
CG1: I GET IT. Y9U’RE N9T G9ING T9 TELL ME.   
TC1:   
TC1: !   
TC1: :oO  
TC1: oh you poor sweet summer child. cinnamon bun too good for this world, too pure.   
TC1: PAP PAP.  
CG1: WHY ARE Y9U INTERNET PAPPING ME?   
CG1: WHAT THE FUCK IS G9ING 9N?   
TC2: YOUR EMPRESS BANNED PORN?   
TC2: EVEN FOR THE TEMPORARY?   
TC2: HOLY SHIT? Do:   
CG1: D9N’T JUST DR9P THE C9NVERSATI9N, GH.   
CG1: 9H MY *G9G*.   
CG1: HEH, THAT IS FUNNY T9 SAY. G9G. HEHEHE.   
catharticAlcoholic [CA1] joined the memo!   
CA1: so wvwhats evwveryone doin here?   
CA1: wvwho are you guys?   
TC1: im about to cull a mother fucker again  
CT1: D=> DO NOT.   
CG1: GH N9.   
TA1: WE TALKED AB0UT THII5.   
TC1: COME ON, JUST A LITTLE BIT.  
CG1: Y9U CAN’T KILL S9ME9NE “JUST A LITTLE 6IT”, GH, THAT’S N9T H9W DEATH W9RKS. READ THE TITLE 9F THE MEM9, F9R FUCKS SAKE.   
TC1: i read it my miraculous candy bro. it said ‘be friends’.   
TA1: THE TIITLE 0F THE MEM0 I5: LET’5 HAVE AN EXCHANGE 0F TR0LLIIAN HANDLE5 AND MAYBE BE FRIIEND5 AND N0T KILL EACH 0THER. KEYW0RD5: “N0T KIILL EACH 0THER”. WHAT D0E5 THAT MEAN?   
TC1: NO KILLING. BUT IT DIDN’T SAY NO CULLING.   
CG1: SAME FUCKING THING, NUM6SKULL.   
TC1: :o(  
CA1: so... wvwhats goin on?   
CG1: READ THE MEM9 AND FIGURE IT 9UT, THAT’S WHAT EVERY9NE ELSE’S D9ING.   
CA1: youre fuckin sassy. wvwho the fuck dya think ya talkin to?   
CG1: THE SAME GUY WH9 G9T FUCKING MURDERED 6ECAUSE HE CAN’T TELL A J9KE. JEGUS, I DIED A MARTYR AND I STILL DIED WITH M9RE DIGNITY THAN Y9U DID.   
CG2: Note, I don’t want to be a fucking bother or anything, but should we *really* be talking about death right now?   
CG2: I mean, I’m not telling you to stop, by all means, carry on sassing the fuck out of the seadweller, it’s hilarious.   
CG2: But it can be... kind of a fucking trigger for some people. Just... just be fucking careful next time you go gallivanting about death.   
CG1: WHAT THE FUCK D9 Y9U WANT ME T9 D9 A69UT IT, IS 6EF9RUS THAT SHELTERED A69UT THE NATURAL (AND UNNATURAL, 6ECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERY DEATH WAS UNNATURAL 9N ALTERNIA) PR9GRESSI9N 9F DEATH?   
CG2: I don’t know, this medium isn’t exactly the best one to be adding trigger tags to, it would just block up the entire chat and make it look stupid.   
CG2: That’s why I just said try and be more fucking careful about it. We aren’t sheltered by the progression of death, I just don’t want to FUCKING TALK ABOUT DEATH RIGHT NOW, OKAY?   
CG2: WE’RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE NOW, SO WE SHOULD FUCKING KEEP IT THAT WAY OR I SWEAR TO FUCKING *GOG* I WILL FUCKING KILL ALL YOU BULGESUCKING WASTESHOOT FRONDLERS.   
CG1: AWW, Y9U D9 CARE! (:B  
CG2: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?   
CG1: IT’S A HAPPY FACE. THE ‘6’S MY H9RNS.   
CG2:  
CG2: O:B  
CG2:   
CG2: ...   
CG2: I like it. Can I use it?   
CG1: KN9CK Y9URSELF 9UT, KID. IT D9ESN’T G9 6Y MY TYPING QUIRK ANYWAY, S9 Y9U CAN KEEP IT.   
CG2: I’m not going to use it if it means taking it away from you.   
CG1: FINE, MAY6E I’LL USE IT AS WELL. WE CAN *ALL* USE IT. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME FUCKING H9RNS.   
CG2: Good point. (:B  
arachnidGambliant [AG1] joined the memo!   
AG1: Hello, losers!!!!!!!!   
AC2: :|| < grrr  
TC2: wrong cerulean, babe.   
AC2: :33 < oh! hi!   
CA1: ARE YOU FOLLOWVWIN ME OR SOMETHIN?   
AG1: Why would I follow a loser like you?   
AG1: HA!   
AG1: I’ve got 8etter things to 8e doing with my life, than follow a lovesick idiot.   
CA1: I AIN’T LOVE SICK YOU’RE A SICK ASSHOLE  
GC1: 1f th3 two of you don’t stop r1ght now 1 w1ll not h3s1t4t3 to chop off both of your bulg3s. and 1’ll do 1t, too.   
TC1: REDGLARE, MA MAIN GAL!!! :oD  
GC1: h3y, GH, how’v3 you b33n?   
TC1: pretty good, to get my honest out, adjustin and shit  
CT1: D=> Adjusting to that club in your  
CT1: D=>   
CT1: D=> That was not meant to happen, I apologise.   
TC1: :oO  
TC1: :oO  
TC1: :oO  
TC1: i cannot  
TC1: BELIEVE  
GC1: 44h, you two st1ll do1ng th3 th1ng wh3r3 you h4t3 34ch oth3r but you l1k3 34ch other but you’r3 not p1tch but t3n1c4lly you som3t1m3s 4r3.   
GC1: gl4d to s33 som3 th1ngs n3v3r ch4ng3.   
TC1: that you  
TC1: OF ALL THE THINGS TO GET YA MOTHER FUCKING SAY ON  
CT1: D=> Would you just be quiet for once? You’re galloping around the issues!   
TC1: what issues?   
TC1: I AIN’T BE SEEING NO MOTHER FUCKING ISSUES.   
TC1: i be having my ganderbulbs all up in the things.   
CT1: D=> What things?   
TC1: WELL, YOUR ASS IS ONE OF THEM.   
TC1: honk ;o)   
CT1: D=> I CANNOT  
CT1: D=> BELIEVE  
TA1: PLEA5E CAN Y0U MAYBE C0NTIINUE THII5 IIN PRIIVATE.   
TA1: <IIN5ERT QUERYN00DLE>   
CG1: Y9U’RE THAT ADAMANT T9 N9T USE QUERY-N99DLES AND SH9UTP9LES THAT Y9U PUT AN ‘IIN5ERT X HERE’ INSTEAD?  
CG1: LEARN S9ME CHILL, PSII.   
TA1: II AIIM T0 5TIICK FIIRMLY T0 MY QUIIRK.   
TA1: HEH, 5TIICK FIIRMLY.   
TA1: ...   
TA1: IIT’5 FUNNY BECAU5E GRUB-PA5TE.   
CT1: D=> THAT SORT OF TONE IS INCREDIBLY 100D!!   
apocalypticAnnihilation [AA1] joined the memo!   
AA1: you know what else 100d, whoresy boi?   
AA1: 私はテーブルの上に、フラット曲げクソあなたはあなたの感覚死ぬまで [i bending you flat over a table and fucking you till your senses die]   
AA1: 私はあなたと終了したらB100はあなたから検索されます。あなたはそれを好きですか？ [b100 will be all the found from you when i finish with you. you like that?]   
AA1: you want that yes?   
CT1: D=> Please stop soliciting me black, Damara, I am not interested.   
AA1: you seem interested when  
CT1: D=> CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN?   
CT1: D=> THAT WOULD BE _GRAND_.   
TC1: WHY DO YOU KNOW THE DEMONESS?   
TC1: you’re all up and talking friendly-like at the demoness.  
TC1: DID YOU PAIL THE DEMONESS?   
AA1: 以下のようなあなたは、偉大な底の雌犬を話すことができます。[like you can talk, you a great bottom bitch.]   
CT1: D=> I am inclined to agree with you there, Damara.   
TC1: honk :o?   
TA2: why 4re you known 42 the demone22?   
TA2: 2eem2 pretty morbiid.   
AA1: すべてのアップと変態のようなうめき声されています [all up and being moaning like a hentai].   
CT1: D=> Well, isn’t that interesting, hmm?   
AA1: 良いはいを感じましたか？たくは再度行きますか？ [felt good yes? wanna go again?]   
CT1: D=> Hmm, I’m sure he probably _would_ like that.   
TC1: HONK? :oI  
CG1: WHY IN ALL HELL HAS THE HAR6RINGER 9F D99M ENTERED 9UR MEM9?   
AA1: hello to you to candy.   
AA1: way to include me in group. i feel so welcome.  
TA2: the wh4t of WH4T??   
TA1: THE HARBRIINGER 0F D00M. THE HANDMAIID. THE DEM0NE55. A PRETTY G00D FRIIEND T0 A PER50N IIN DE5PRATE NEED T0 TALK T0 50METHING N0T FU5HIIA 0R PURPLE.   
TA1: N0 0FFENCE, GH.   
TC1: literally zero offence was all being taken. You need a mother fucking break.   
TC2: WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR KNOW ON OF A FUSHIA WHAT THE MOTHER OF FUCK?   
TC2: AND WHAT DOES THAT LADY HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING DOOM-WORTHY?   
AA1: nothing of notable worth, really.   
TA1: Y0U ARE PRE5ENT AT EVERY IN5TANCE 0F D00M. II 5H0ULD KN0W. L00K, 5HE PRETTY MUCH MADE 5URE EVERYTHIING WA5 READY T0 MAKE THE GAME BE PLAYED, AND AL50 PREPARE F0R HII5 ARRIIVAL. DIID HII5 DIIRTY W0RK, ETC, ETC. HATED M05T/ALL 0F TR0LLKIIND T0 THE P0IINT THAT ALL 0F TR0LLKIIND WA5 BIITCH-TIIT5 AFRAIID 0F HER.   
AA1: so, nothing of notable worth.   
TA1: DIIDN’T THE C0NDEN5CE KIILL Y0U AND GAIIN Y0UR WEIIRD P5II0NIIC P0WER5?   
AA1: it had to be done. otherwise it would lead to offshoot timeline that would disintegrate almost immediately.   
TC2: oKaY WOW.   
TC2: that right the mother fuck there be some FuCkEd Up MoThEr FuCkInG SHIT yo.   
TC2: Do:  
awesomeArchaeologist [AA2] joined the memo!   
AA2: I heard timelines s0 I just had to jump in!   
CG2: Just who the fuck are all these people that joined just now?   
CG2: Oh, shit, that was meant for every one else since you literally just fucking came here. But you too as well.   
CG2: So, who the fuck are you?   
AA2: 0u0  
AA2: Aradia Megid0, Pre-Scratch versi0n  
AA2: M0st kn0w me as Tr0llalina J0nes  
CA1: I’m Post-Scratch Cronus Ampora but I don’t wvwanna talk to you bassholes.   
CG1: LITERALLY N9 9NE WANTS T9 TALK T9 Y9U EITHER.   
TC1: ZILTCH, MOTHER FUCKER.   
TA1: PLEA5E PII55 0FF.   
AG1: Just who the fuck do you think you are?   
AG1: Go rot at the 8ottom of the sea ;;;;)   
GC1: S3rk3t, do you n33d 4noth3r hour 1n th3 c4g3?   
AG1: G8G N8!!!!!!!!   
TC1: nice one ;o)   
GC1: 4pprec14t3d >;]  
CT1: D=> Just don’t break her robot arm, I am sick of dealing with it.   
GC1: don’t worry, 1’ll b3 c4r3ful >;]  
CT1: D=> Something is making me think you won’t be, oh dear...   
GC1: c3rul34n’s ‘M4rqu1c3 Sp1nn3r3t M1ndf4ng’.   
AG1: Post-Scratch Aranea Serket and 8asically the 8est gam8liant there is.   
GC1: th4t’s st1ll 1ll3g4l, M1ndf4ng.   
AG1: Girl’s gotta live, after aaaaaaaall >::::)  
TA1: CAN Y0U MAYBE N0T D0 THAT HERE.   
TA1: KIIND 0F T0LD GH AND DL T0 5T0P WIITH THAT 5HIIT T00.  
TA1: THII5 II5 A FAMIILY FRIIENDLY MEM0.   
GA1: If It Is So+ Family Friendly, Why Is Grub-Paste Mentio+ned?   
TA1: II MEANT N0 AIIRIING 0UT Y0UR QUADRANT II55UE5, R05A.   
GA1: Yo+u Are Unco+mfortable With The PDA?   
GA1: Also+ Kankri I Need To+ Talk With You+, Right No+w.   
TA1: D0N’T P5YCH0ANALYZE ME.   
CG1: 9H G9G, WHAT DID I D9?   
AA1: Damara Sweet Girl Yes?   
AA1: Do psychoanalysis on me, Jade girl.   
AA1: おそらくもっとある。おっぱいの間に頭。多分性交。パラドックス空間で最高のファック、はい？[maybe more. head between broobs. maybe fuck. best fuck in paradox space, yes?]   
CT1: D=> DAMARA MEGIDO.   
CT1: D=> What the _FUCK_ are you thinking?   
AA1: What it matter if no one understand?   
AT2: uHHHHH,,,,,,,,   
AA1: What?   
AT2: あなたはそれが多分、ええと、一種のダムだと思いませんか？ほんの少し？[dON'T YOU TH1NK THAT'S, uH, k1ND OF RUDE, mAYBE? jUST A L1TTLE?]   
AA1: ...   
AA1: 神聖な性交あなたは私の言語を話します。たく熱い甘いセクシーな時間を持っています？[holy fuck you speak my language. wanna have hot sweet sexy time?]   
AT2: uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,   
AT2: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   
aspiringTraitor [AT2] left the memo!   
CT1: D=> Look what you made him do, Damara.   
CT1: D=> You just had to scare him off.   
AA1: You right.   
AA1: Pages not worth my time.   
AA1: Like you.   
CT1: D=> Ugh.   
apostateTaurus [AT1] joined the memo!   
AT1: hey everyone, }:)  
AA1: Brown leave as brown enter. Coincidence?   
AA2: I THINK N0T!  
AT1: eheh, you rusts are right,   
AT1: me an Tav the Taller k1nd of have to, share a mob1le dev1ce?   
AT1: sh1t’s we1rd, yo }:/  
GC2: QU1CK, OUR AUSP1C3 1S GON3 L3TS R33K H4VOC!   
CG2: Let’s not, because unlike you, I’m not a fucking wriggler.   
AT1: oh, and Tav the Taller told me 1f any of you two cause trouble he, well,   
AT1: ‘wONT HES1TATE TO FLY DOWN TO YOU TWO AND SMACK A B1TCH’,  
AT1: fa1r play 1s all 1 can say to that, really,   
CG2: See, Pyrope? That’s what you get.   
GC2: UGH, BUZZ K1LL.   
TA2: DON’T KIILL THE BUZZBE42T2!   
TA2: THEY ME4N NO H4RM, 2TUPIID JUDGEMENT4L 422H4T2.   
TA1: THEY JU5T WANT MAKE H0NEY.   
TA1: H0NEY II CANN0T EAT F0R A VARIIETY 0F REA50N5.   
TA1: 0NE BEIING P5II0NIIC BL0W0UT5/MELTD0WN5.   
TA2: under no ciircum2t4nce2 mu2t you ever wiilliingly e4t the miind honey.   
TA1: TRUE FUCKIING THAT, FELL0W CAPT0R.   
CA2: i think i just caught up.   
CA2: holy shit slow down people. everyone is talkin at once.  
CA2: and calm down pi. she said buzz-kill. not buzzbeast kill.   
CG1: SH9999SH, PSII. LIKE WHAT THE M9RE REAS9NABLE SEADWELLER SAID, N9 6UZZ-6EASTS WERE HARMED 9R KILLED DURING THAT EXCHANGE 9F W9RDS 9VER THE INTERNET.   
GC2: TH3Y MUST R34LLY L1K3 BUZZB34STS.   
TA1: 5HE DIID?   
TA1: 0H G0G, Y0U’RE RIIGHT. 50RRY.   
TA2: 2orry.   
GC2: 1T’S F1N3.   
CG1: S9, THAT’S M9STLY EVERY9NE FR9M THE 6ETA SESSI9N, I THINK.   
CG1: EXCEPT A CERTAIN S9ME9NE WH9 I W9N’T NAME.   
CG1: WH9 ARE WE MISSING FR9M Y9URS?   
AA2: I think Zahhak’s scared t0 c0me 0n, he’s s0 used t0 being by himself 0n0  
AA2: It’s 0k t0 j0in, y0u know! These guys are nice 0u0  
AA2: If a bit weird, but wh0 isn’t these days?   
coverupTransmittion [CT2] joined the memo!   
CT2: B --> For the record, I wasn’t scared  
CT2: B --> I just figured this type of thing required an invite  
CT2: B --> Besides, I was  
CT2: B --> 8usy  
CT2: B --> Yes, busy  
TC2: LOOKY WHO’S HERE!   
TC2: IT’S zAkKiE McLaCkIe  
CT2: B --> *sigh*  
CT2: B --> That was me, expressing a sigh in text form, by the way  
CT2: B --> Not me actually saying ‘sigh’  
CT2: B --> That would be stupid  
TC2: :o|  
TC2: that was a verbicular stab at me, wasn’t it  
CT2: B --> Who’s saying that  
CT2: B --> I certainly am not saying that at all, that would be unbecoming  
CT2: B --> ...   
CT2: B --> Whatever that means  
TC2: ...   
TC2: stop using words when you don’t even got the know of what it means  
TC2: please  
TC2: makes a motherfucker be lookin all stupid-like  
TC2: the mother fucker being you  
TC2: you are the motherfucker lookin all stupid-like  
TC2: IT IS YOU  
TC2: MY GOG, YOU NEED A MOIRAIL  
CT2: 8 --> Excuse me?   
CT2: B --> My quadrant situation is perfe%ly fine thank you very mu%  
CT2: B --> And I don’t need some asshole telling me what I do and do not need  
TC2: wHy, YoU mOtHeR **FUCKER**  
TC2: im being all up and getting my help of for ya and you all call me an aSsHoLe??   
TC1: DID HE  
CT2: B --> Telling me I “need a moirail” is not helping me  
CT2: B --> it is merely stating an opinion  
TC2: I care about your wellbeing and you be a mother fucking jerk >:o(  
TC1: im not the only one who is all getting my gander on at this right?   
TC1: AM I HIGH RIGHT NOW?   
TC1: :o?   
CG1: N9, WE ALL SAW THAT. WHY, I D9N’T REALLY SEE A PR-  
CG1: 9H, FUCK, WAIT.   
TC1: SO I’M NOT IMAGINING IT?   
CG1: DID Y9U C9MPLETELY MISS IT WHEN DARKLEER YELLED AT THE HAR6RINGER 9F D99M 9N ‘WHAT THE FUCK SHE WAS THINKING’?   
TC1: i  
TC1: WAIT WHAT THE MOTHER **FUCK**??????????  
TC1: imma check up on this shit you best not be mother fucking getting ya lie all on.   
TC1: !   
TC1: :oO  
TC1: ALL HOLY MESSIAHS ABOVE WHEN DID HE DECIDE TO CURSE?   
TC1: when was that a thing that he all decided on being a thing?   
CT1: D=> A lot of things happened after you e%iled me, Highblood.   
TC1: :o?  
TC1: does that include the closet incident?   
CT1: D=> For instance, I  
CT1: D=>   
CT1: D=> !   
CT1: D=> ...   
CT1: D=> I thought we agreed to never bring that up again.   
AT1: 1s 1t bad 1 kinda, want to know what happened,   
CT1: D=> Yes, and you will stop wondering what had happened right now.   
AT1: aww, you th1nk you can boss me around because 1m a lowblood, that’s adorable,   
CT1: D=> No, it is not that this time.   
CT1: D=> You really _don’t_ want to know what happened.   
CT1: D=> Trust me, _no one_ does.   
TC1: HE HAS A POINT, BRO.   
TC1: you really don’t want your know on that.   
TC1: YOU’D BE PAN-SCARRED FOR LIFE.   
TC1: Do:   
CT1: D=> I _was_ pan-scarred for life!   
TC1: SAME   
TC1: :o(  
TA1: A5 Y0UR M0IIRAIIL, II HAVE THE RIIGHT T0 KN0W AB0UT THE CL05ET IINCIIDENT.   
GA1: I Tho+ught Yo+u Didn’t Want To+ Bring Quadrant Issues Into+ This Memo+, Psiio+niic?   
GA1: And Wo+uldn’t Kankri Have The Same Rights?   
TA1: L00K THII5 5EEM5 HIILARII0U5LY 5TUPIID, II HAVE T0 KN0W. BE5IIDE5, IIT II5N’T PIITCH/A5HEN FR0M WHAT II CAN TELL.   
TA1: AND 0F C0UR5E HE D0E5. HE HA5N’T A5KED THEM YET TH0UGH.   
GA1: So+ Yo+u Are Biased Fo+r The Redder Quadrants. Wo+uld Yo+u Like To+ Discuss This Matter Further?   
TA1: N0.   
TA1: G0G N0.   
TA1: PLEA5E, G0G N0.   
TA1: ERR0R: HARDWARE ‘P5II0NIIC’ II5 N0 L0NGER RE5P0NDIING. PLEA5E PERF0RM A HARD RE5ET.   
TA1: (HEH, HARD.)   
CG1: N9 9NE IS G9ING T9 FALL F9R THAT, PSII.   
TC1: HOW DO I BE ALL UP AND RESTARTING YOU BRO? Do:   
GA1: 0+h, Dear, Are Yo+u Alright?   
CG1: 9H MY G9G.   
CG2: How is it that your group is more insane than ours, when your group grew up on a planet where culling was equal to killing?   
CG1: Y9U’D 6E SURPRISED.   
CG1: JUST TAKE A L99K AT THE GAME PLAYERS FR9M 6EF9RUS.   
CG1: WE’RE GENETICALLY IDENTICAL T9 THEM, AFTER ALL.   
CG2: ...   
CG2: Somehow, that fucking explains absolutely **EVERYTHING**.  
CT2: B --> Erm  
CT2: B --> ...?   
CT2: B --> I am incredibly lost right now  
AA2: It’s 0k  
AA2: I am t00  
AA2: Aren’t they just silly >u<  
CT2: B --> Who are they?   
AA2: They intr0duce themselves way up near the start 0f the c0nversati0n  
AA2: 0h! Tell these guys wh0 y0u are!   
AA2: They wanna kn0w 0u0  
CT2: B --> Right now, or after I read the entire memo?   
CT2: B --> (Oh, dear, this is quite a bit of reading)   
AC2: :?? <   
AC2: :33 < oh!   
AC2: :33 < hello scratch-hak!   
AA2: Intr0duce y0urself n0w, because y0u w0nt be d0ne reading f0r a while  
CT2: B --> Right, okay  
CT2: B --> Oh, hello, erm, Miss Lieonn?   
CT2: B --> No, that’s not right........   
CT2: B --> Miss... Leijon?   
CT2: B --> I apologise, my memory isn’t the best lately  
AC2: :33 < yea, im Leijon :33  
AC2: :33 < Nepeta Leijon, remempurr?   
CT2: B --> Ah! Miss Leijon! I hope the eneving is treating you well  
AA2: Equius, are y0u feeling 0k?   
AA2: Y0u d0n’t seem t0 be acting like y0urself 0.0  
CT2: B --> I   
CT2: B --> ........?!   
CT2: B --> Owwwwwwww!   
coverupTransmittion [CT2] left the memo!   
AA2: Equius?   
AC2: :// < what happurred?   
TC2: ...   
TC2: this isn’t good.   
atrociousGatherer [AG2] joined the memo!   
AC2: 33: < grrrrrrrrr...   
AG2: B --> Heeeeeeeey!!!!!!!!   
TC2: >:o(  
TC2: GET YOUR OWN MOTHER FUCKING ELECTRONIC DEVICE SPIDERBITCH.   
TC2: STOP ROBBING PEOPLE’S PANS INSTEAD.   
TC2: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT MOTHER FUCKING LAZY?   
AC2: :|| < GRRRRRrrrrrrr  
AA2: Wait, whats g0ing 0n?   
AA2: What happened t0 equius?   
AA2: Why are they using his quirk?   
AG2: B --> Nah, I like this instead.   
AG2: B --> Soooooooo much easier.   
TC2: in what mother fucking way is this in any mother fucking easier than using your own mother fucking device?   
AG2: B --> Put it this way, I’d rather do this, than have to hassle with the others.   
AG2: B --> Soooooooo 8ossy!   
AG2: B --> I don’t want to have to owe ANY of my sign-kin anythign, to 8e honest.   
AG2: B --> ANYTHING*  
AG2: B --> Jeez, this is harder than I thoguht!   
AG2: B --> TH8UGHT********  
AG2: B --> Who knew controlling someone to type for you would lead to soooooooo many spelling mist8ks?   
TC2: look i understand not wanting to talk/know your signkin but seriously just ask if you can borrow a device or something  
AG2: B --> They’ll hold it ag8nst me!!!!!!!!   
AG2: B --> I know me!!!!!!!!   
AG2: B --> I’d hold it ag8nst me!!!!!!!!   
AA2: Can s0me0ne tell me  
AA2: What the fuck is g0ing 0n  
AA2: RIGHT   
AA2: N0W  
AA2: 0n0  
AA2: N0 that l00ks terrible  
AA2: (ง •̀_•́)ง  
AA2: That just l00ks stupid  
AC2: :|| < the meownipul8r that is the  
AC2: :// < ..   
AC2: :// < ce-rul-33-an?   
TC2: close enough :o)   
AC2: :33 < h33h33!!   
AC2: :|| < any way, she is mind conturrolling equius, again, to tipe fur her beclaws she isn’t nise.   
TC2: Type* and Nice*  
AC2: :OO < ooh!   
AC2: :33 < thank mew!   
TC2: <3  
AA2: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)   
AA2: N0, that's even w0rse  
AA2: It’s cute th0ugh 0u0  
AA2: And y0u, st0p mind-c0ntr0lling equius, like what did he even d0 t0 y0u?   
AG2: B --> 8ut I haaaaaaaave to!!!!!!!!   
AG2: 8 --> If I don’t I’m completely out of the loop!   
AG2: 8 --> And to have irons in the fire, one needs to be in the loop a8out everythiiiiiiiing!   
AA2: Use a special s0mething t0 0btain a elect0nic device instead then  
AA2: Like, maybe, I d0n’t kn0w...   
AA2: M0NEY  
AA2: I mean, y0u sh0uld be pretty well 0ff, c0nsidering everything  
AG2: B --> Jokes on you  
AG2: B88 > I don’t have money! ::::)   
AG2: 8R8K> That emoticon was sarcastic, 8y the w8y.  
AG2: O8WWW WHAT THE F  
AA2: Huh?   
TC2: :o?   
AG2: B --> What?  
AG2: B --> Oh  
atrociousGatherer [AG2] left the memo!   
coverupTransmittion [CT2] joined the memo!   
CT2: B --> Ugh  
CT2: B --> Does anyone close by have any headache soothers?   
CT2: B --> Painkillers  
CT2: B --> Anything really  
CT2: B --> Maybe also a new desk too  
CT2: B --> I whacked my head onto my desk  
CT2: B --> Very hard  
CT2: B --> In a moment of mental clarity  
CT2: B --> Usually physical pain kicks her out of my pan  
CT2: B --> I may or may not have broken my desk  
CT2: B --> Again  
CT2: B --> For the third time this week  
CT2: B --> Fucking hell  
CT2: B --> Why do I do this to myself  
AA2: Equius!   
CT2: B --> I need to invest in psychic proofing my workspace  
CT2: B --> Wait  
CT2: B --> Dia!!   
CT2: B --> Hello!!   
CT2: B --> May I ask what this is exactly?   
CG1: WHAT THE ACTUAL *FUCK* JUST HAPPENED?   
CT2: B --> Serket may or may not have invaded my thinkspace for probably the fifth time in two nights  
TC2: wait what  
CT2: B --> Why do I have a ‘2’ at the end of my handle?   
AG1: W8, how the fuck can she hack your mind? I can 8arely get into high8lood’s pans, if at all.   
CT2: B --> The fact of the matter is  
CT2: B --> I am considerably younger than her  
CT2: B --> By like a lot  
CT2: B --> It is a very big amount  
CT2: B --> She is fucking old  
TC1: ...   
TC1: SERIOUSLY, I AM NOT MOTHER FUCKING HALLUCINATING RIGHT NOW, A ZAHHAK IS ACTUALLY SAYING CURSE WORDS FREELY, RIGHT?   
TC1: and actually joking about someone being old  
TC1: AND BEING IN GENERAL VERY UN-ZAHHAK LIKE IN MY EXPERIENCE OF ZAHHAKS  
TC1: admittedly, i only know one zahhak, but still it should count for something.   
TC2: tHaT’s the zAkIe McLaCkY we all know :o)  
CT2: B --> (；¬д¬)   
CT2: B --> Who thought this was a good idea  
CT2: B --> Seriously  
CT2: B --> There is two of them  
CT2: B --> Two  
CT2: B --> This is quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen ever  
AA2: This is a mem0 f0r all 0f us ancest0rs, b0th fr0m bef0rus and alternia, and every0ne’s getting t0 kn0w each 0ther! 0u0  
CT2: B --> Oh!  
CT2: B --> Cool  
CT2: B --> Should I  
AA1: YES WHORESY.  
CT2: B --> I didn’t even finish the  
CT2: B --> Pffft   
CT2: B --> Whoresy  
AA1: Just tell everyone who you is already.   
CT2: B --> That is quite possibly the best pun I’ve herd or read today  
AA2: 0h, by the way, there’s two of every0ne, which is why s0me pe0ple have either a ‘1’ or a ‘2’ at the end 0f their handle  
AA2: F0r instance, I’m AA2  
AA2: AA1 is the p0st-scratch megid0  
CT2: B --> ...   
CT2: B --> That is confusing  
CT2: B --> Befoal I get off-track again hoofever here are some fac% about myself  
CT2: B --> I’m Equius Zahhak   
CT2: B --> Pre-scratch edition  
CT2: B --> I build robots almost every day  
CT2: B --> I have tried my hand at prostheti% a few times  
CT2: B --> But they always need tweaking and I do not have the patience for that  
CT2: B --> No wait that’s the mobile Robo-Hoofer  
CT2: B --> The prostheti% went okay  
CT2: B --> Gosh I’m an idiot  
CT2: B --> I may or may not have had a hoof in the detachable helmsrig  
CT2: B --> Although it’s still creepy in my opinion  
CT2: B --> I built an electronic boat that doesn’t need to be powered psionically  
CT2: B --> Then it got stolen  
CT2: B --> Twice  
TC1: LEARN SOME CHILL ON YOUR TYPING  
TC1: can’t you put all that in like, one or two messages :o?   
CT2: B --> I refuse to use commas  
CT2: B --> Commas are the devil  
CG1: C9MMAS ARE A G9GSEND, 6UT I’M N9T G9ING T9 JUDGE. ANYWAY, Y9U MENTI9NED SERKET 6EING ‘9LD’ S9 N9W I’M HERE W9NDERING H9W FUCKING 9LD *ARE* Y9U?   
CT2: B --> I  
CT2: B --> Right now?   
CT2: B --> I haven’t a clue right now  
CT2: B --> I apologise  
CT2: B --> For not knowing I mean  
CG1: N9 I MEANT  
CT1: D=> How can a boat be stolen twice?   
CG1: HELL, I D9N’T EVEN KN9W H9W 9LD *I* AM! D9N’T W9RRY A69UT IT. ANYWAY, I MEANT IN RELATI9N T9 HER.   
CT2: B --> Well...   
CT2: B --> She was around fourty or fifty sweeps when I first ‘met’ her  
CT2: B --> I was nine at that point  
CG1: H9LY M9THER 9F FUCK.   
TC1: WHAT  
TC2: for the record I met up with the guy when he was 14 and I was like 21  
TC2: Kittysis was 20 then  
TC1: why did zahhak land so mother fucking late?   
TC1: AT LEAST OUR METEOR LANDINGS MADE SENSE.   
TC1: it is meteor landings, right, candy-bro?   
TC1: WHY ARE YOUR AGES SO MOTHER FUCKING WEIRD THAT DON’T BE FITTING ANY PATTERNS?   
CG1: YES. THAT’S H9W WE ALL LANDED. METE9R LANDINGS FR9M THE 6ETA TR9LL SESSI9N, WHICH, 6ECAUSE 9F THE ALPHA SCRATCH, PUSHED METE9RS INT9 EACH 9F 9UR RESPECTIVE SESSI9NS; ENSURING EVERY9NE’S EXISTANCE. I’M THE9RISING THAT THE ALPHA’S SCRATCH C9ULD ALS9 6E WHY THE ALPHA ANCEST9RS LANDED IN SUCH WEIRD GAPS WHEN THEY G9T TRASP9RTED 9VER THE SESSI9NS. 6ECAUSE Y9U CAN’T EXACTLY C9NTR9L THE P9RTALS SURR9UNDING SKAIA, THEY C9NTR9L THEMSELVES 6ECAUSE FATE’S A 6ITCH. MIGHT 6E ALS9 WHY Y9U HAD T9 SCRATCH IN THE FIRST PLACE, 6ESIDES 6EING A6SOLUTELY UNPREPARED F9R THE MECHANICS 9F THE GAME IN ANY WHICH WAY WHATS9EVER.   
CG1: D9ES ANY9NE KN9W 9F A C9MPREHENSIVE LIST SURR9UNDING Y9UR METE9R LANDINGS AND Y9UR RESPECTIVE ELDEST TR9LL T9 Y9UNGEST TR9LL?   
TC1: what.   
AT1: 1 th1nk he’s try1ng to say, the1r sess1on was doomed from the start,   
AT1: but 1’m not sure, 1 got bored read1ng the wall of text, sorry folks,   
CG1: ARE  
CG1: ARE Y9U PURP9SFULLY TRYING T9 AGRIVATE ME?   
CG1: I’D LIKE T9 SEE Y9U FUCKING TRY.   
CT1: D=> Seriously, how in the world do you even _steal_ a boat twice?   
TA1: HELL0 II HEARD THE W0RD TWIICE.   
TA1: WAIIT H0W THE FUCK D0 Y0U 5TEAL A BOAT TWIICE.   
TA1: WHY W0ULD Y0U 5TEAL A B0AT TWIICE.   
TA1: WA5 IIT 5T0LEN, 50 Y0U 5T0LE IIT BACK.   
TA1: 0R WA5 IIT 5T0LEN, THEN 5T0LEN AGAIIN.   
TA1: <IIN5ERT QUERYN00DLE5>   
TA1: THE5E ARE VERY IIMP0RTANT QUE5TII0N5.   
TC2: to be fair i was one of the people who robbed the boat, and ill be honest  
TC2: it got robbed WaY mOrE than twice  
TC2: wAy MoRe  
CT1: D=> Why would you steal a boat?   
TC2: Who cArEs?   
CT1: D=> I do!   
CT1: D=> I need to know these things.   
CT1: D=> Just in case _he_ gets any ideas.   
CT1: D=> Was it just a capricious twist of fate?   
TC2: No actually I needed to get away from the feds  
TC2: remember kitty?   
AC2: :33 < remempurr what?   
TC2: that time we robbed zahhaks boat  
AC2: :|| < what time are you talking about?   
TC2: When we had to get away from the feds  
AC2: :OO < OH THAT TIME.   
AC2: :|| < technically, we didn’t rob it...   
AC2: :33 < we catnapped it! >w<  
TC2: this is why I love you seriously you are being all too mother fucking cute  
AC2: X33 < h33h33!   
AC2: :33 < but s33riously, scratch-hak let us borrow the boat that time.   
TC2: OOH I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING.   
TC2: NOT THAT TIME  
TC2: THE oThEr OTHER TIME  
AC2: :?? <  
AC2: :OO < OOOOOOHHHH  
AC2: :33 < yeah we robbed the boat that time.   
AC2: X33 < to be fur, she desfured it to be robbed.   
TC2: EXACTLY!   
TC2: BITCH WAS ON OUR TERRITORY  
TC2: SO WE TOOK HER MOTHER FUCKING BOAT AS PAY-BACK  
CT2: B --> You stole   
CT2: B --> _My_ boat  
CT2: B --> Not hers  
CT2: B --> Mine  
atrociousGatherer [AG2] joined the memo!   
AG2: Holy shit, I had to haggle for this.   
TA1: IIF Y0U’RE G0NNA ATTEMPT T0 GET QUADRANTY HERE, II A5K THAT Y0U PLEA5E D0 IIT IIN PRIIVATE.   
AG2: It’s not even that G88D!!!!!!!!   
TA1: THII5 HA5 BEEN Y0UR 0NLY WARNIING.   
TA1: II WIILL 5TART BANNIING.   
CG1: SERI9USLY, D9 Y9U ACTUALLY HAVE A PR96LEM WITH THE 6LACKER QUADRANTS?   
TA1: N0T RIIGHT N0W, 5L.   
TA1: II’M N0T G0NNA DI5CU55 IIT RIIGHT N0W.   
AC1: :3c > I don’t mind helping!   
TA1: 0H. MY. G0G.   
TC1: THIS IS ALL BEING A MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM TO YOU PSII.   
GA1: Are We Discussing This Matter No+w?   
TC1: we just be all wanting to help a mother fucker out, yo.   
TA1: II’M G0IING T0 D0 IIT.   
TA1: II 5WEAR.   
TC1: :o?   
CG1: /:B  
AC1: :?c > :??   
GA1: 2:?   
GA1: The ‘2’ Is Suppo+sed My Ho+rns. I Figured I Sho+uld Try An Emo+tico+n With My Ho+rns To+ See What It Wo+uld Lo+o+k Like.   
GA1: It Isn’t That Go+o+d, I’m So+rry.   
CG1: I THINK IT’S CUTE.   
AC1: :3c > Mew too!   
TC1: it be looking pretty mother fucking good to me.   
GA1: Yo+u’re Just Saying That To+ Make Me Feel Better.   
GA1: Admit It, It’s Stupid.   
TC1: YEAH  
TC1: it kinda is mother fucking stupid, stick to emoticons without horns cause it looks all weird-like with it.   
TC1: CAUSE YOUR HORNS ARE HARD TO GET THE EMULATION ON.   
TC1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!   
TC1: HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
TC1: !!?!!?!!!!??!!!!!!???!!!!!?!?!   
TC1: IMEANWHATMOTHERFUCKINGISNTSTUPIDTHOUGH? LETSBEALLHONESTHEREEVERYMOTHERFUCKINGTHINGISSTUPID.   
TA1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] left the memo!   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] joined the memo!   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] banned himself from the memo!   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] left the memo!   
TC1: messiahs above, what did I do now?   
CG1: FUCKING HELL PSII.   
CG1: Y9U CAN’T LEAVE, Y9U’RE THE ADMINISTRAT9R.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] unbanned himself from the memo!   
TA1: II CAN AND II WIILL.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] re-banned himself from the memo!   
CG1: ST9P ACTING LIKE A FUCKING WRIGGLER, PSII.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] un-re-banned himself from the memo!   
TA1: 5HUT THE FUCK UP, 5L.   
TC1: HEY.   
TC1: let’s everyone all up and grab their lost mother fucking chill and put it the mother fuck on.   
TC1: BE ALL HELLS OF HATEFUL UP IN HERE.   
TC1: none of yall mother fuckers want this, yeah?   
TC1: SO LET THERE BE CHILL, THE MUSE ONCE SAID, AND IT WAS DONE.   
TC1: let it be chiller than a ice-cold mother fucking faygo.   
TC1: BE MOTHER FUCKING BREATHING SLOW NOW, YO, GRAB THE CHILL BACK DOWN ON YA.   
TC1: yall feeling chill now?   
TA1:   
CG1: THAT  
CG1: THAT WAS ALM9ST P9ETICAL, AND ACTUALLY S9RT 9F MADE SENSE? WHAT THE FUCK?   
TA1:   
TA1: II JU5T REMEMBERED THAT II’M THE ADMIINII5TRAT0R 0F THII5 MEM0.   
CG1: 9NLY JUST?   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] banned carcinoGriever [CG1] from the memo!   
TA1: AND JU5T F0R G00D MEA5URE.  
terminatedAncipital [TA1] banned terrifyingClowns [TC1] from the memo!   
TA1: THAT FIIXE5 THAT 5MALL PR0BLEM.   
TA1: 0R 5H0ULD II 5AY, 0NE AB50LUTELY TIINY AND 0NE UNNECE55ARIILY HUGE PR0BLEM.   
AC1: 3X< > PSII!!!   
AC1: 3X< > YOU CAN’T BAN YOUR PROBLEMS AFURAY!   
AC1: 3X< > THEY’RE YOUR MEOWRAILS, TOO!   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] banned authorsCalamity [AC1] from the memo!   
GA1: Psiio+niic Yo+u Are Acting Quite Wrigglerish.   
TA1: FUCK 0FF.   
GA1:  
GA1: I Suggest Yo+u Take A Lo+ng Time To+ Think Abo+ut Ho+w Yo+u Handled That Situatio+n.   
TA1: Y0UR LU5U5 5H0ULD  
TA1:   
TA1: ...   
TA1: 0H.   
TA1: 0H FUCK.   
TA1: FUUUUUUCK.   
TA1: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.   
TA1: II’M A FUCKIING IIDI0T.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] unbanned authorsCalamity [AC1], carcinoGriever [CG1], and terrifyingClowns [TC1] from the memo!   
TA1: 50RRY.   
CG1: FUCKING HELL, MITUNA, *TELL ME* WHEN Y9U HAVE TH9SE, G9G FUCKING DAMN IT!   
TA1: 50RRY.   
AC1: :3c > I furgive you, this time.   
TA1: 50RRY.   
TC1: ...   
TC1: are you feeling okay?   
TA1: 50RRY.   
TC1: :o/  
TA1: 50RRY.   
TC1: pap pap pap pap.   
TC1: ...   
TC1: shooooooooooooooooosh.   
TA1:   
CG1: WE’RE D9ING INTERNET SH99SH-PAPPING IN A PU6LIC MEM9?   
TA1: FUCK.   
TA1: <IN5ERT 5H0UTP0LE5>   
TC1: :o?   
TC1: i don’t be all seeing the problem?   
CG1: THAT IS 6ECAUSE Y9U WERE HATCHED WITH9UT A SHAME 69NE.   
TC1: :o?   
TC1: still all confusion here.   
CG1: LET’S HAVE THE REST 9F THIS C9NVERSATI9N IN PRIVATE, IS WHAT I AM TRYING T9 SAY.   
TC1: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH.   
TC1: why?   
TC1: :o?   
TC1: !!!   
TC1: OH.   
TC1: :oX  
TC1: OOPS.   
TA1: CALL ME.   
carcinoGriever [CG1], terminatedAncipital [TA1], and terrifyingClowns [TC1] are now idle!   
TC2: that was all embarrassing.   
TA2: 4m ii the only one who thought th4t wa2 hot iin the weiirde2t of way2?   
TC2: i literally have mOtHeR fUcKiNg got all HeLlS of second-hand embarrassment all on myself.   
AG2: I wasn’t even going to attempt to 8e ‘quadranty’, I just wanted to complain a8out how much of a piece of shit this is.   
AG2: Seriously, it’s like the worst thing ever made!!!!!!!!   
AG2: Who thought this would 8e a good idea really? They should tooooooootally get fired.   
TC2: SO... WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET IT?   
TC2: i’m interested for some reason  
AG2: Well I’m pretty sure my clone’s 8asically holding it ag8nst me, now.   
AG2: I just owe her a favour.   
AG2: HOPEFULLY, it wont 8e toooooooo 8ad.   
TC2: I HAVEN’T REALLY SEEN MY CLONE AROUND AT ALL, IF I’M HONEST...   
TC2: :oS  
TC2: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE HE IS?   
TC2: I’M GETTING MY WORRY ON FOR HIM  
CG2: Last I heard, according to my clone, your clone’s locked himself inside some sort of quote-unquote "FUCKING HUMAN FOOD COOLING DEVICE" and refuses to get out.   
CG2: I don’t know why, before you ask.   
CG2: He’s also kinda short, from what I’ve heard.   
CG2: Which is weird because you’re actually pretty fucking tall. Why are you so tall anyway? It’s really unnecessary.   
TC2: bro, I’m not tHaT tall.   
TC2: i’m like, pretty mother fucking short for purple standards, last I checked.   
CG2: Still taller than most of us here.   
TC2: REALLY BRO?   
AC2: :33 < i like it X33  
TC2: I SENSE INNUENDO  
AC2: :?? < inmewendo?   
TC2: NeVeRmInD!!   
AA2: S0, wh0 are y0u, anyway, AG2?   
AG2: I cannot 8ELIEVE he called me 8LD!!!!!!!!   
AG2: H8W D8R8 Y8U!!!!!!!!   
AG2: D8N’T YOU KN8W IT’S R8DE T8 ASK A W8MAN HER 8GE????????   
CT2: B --> Please   
CT2: B --> You lack all common decency anyway  
CT2: B --> And I don’t respect you  
CT2: B --> At all  
CT2: B --> Nor do I care about your feelings towards the matter  
AG2: May8e S8ME8NE should teach you a L8SS8N THEN.   
AG2: In 8AS8C C8MM8N C8URTESY!!!!!!!!   
GA2: Can We Maybe Cease This Unnecessary Argument And Apologise To One Another  
GA2: This Is Just A Suggestion, Nothing Too Mandatory  
GA2: Besides, I Doubt That The Administrator Of This Memo Will Be Very Pleased That This Memo Really Has Gone Extremely Close To The Blacker Quadrants While They Are Away  
AG2: What, no, no one wants that, gross.   
AG2: 8oys are icky, everyone knows this.   
GA2: Quadrant Preferences Are Different For Everyone  
GA2: Some Prefer Boys Over Girls, While Others Are Quite The Opposite  
GA2: I, Myself, Prefer Girls In My Concupiscent Quadrants, And I Assume You Are The Same, Right  
AG2: I’d just prefer girls in AAAAAAAALL my quadrants.   
AG2: Though nothing will ever replace my lost heart........   
AG2: 8UUUUUUUUT   
AG2: That’s in the past!   
AG2: No need to dwell!   
AA2: Y0u c0mpletely ign0red me  
AG2: Oh! Guess I did!   
AG2: My 8ad!   
AG2: What did you want again?   
AA2: I  
AA2: Y0u kn0w what   
AA2: Never mind!   
AA2: F0rget I asked!   
AA2: Y0u 0bvi0usly c0uldn’t give a damn anyway if y0u tried, s0 why sh0uld I b0ther?   
AG2: What the hell????????   
AT1: oh, wow, that’s some real caste1st bullsh1t there, damn,   
AG2: Erm????????   
AG2: All I asked was what she said????????   
AG2: Who the fuck are you, anyway?   
AT1: post-scratch ruf1oh n1tram, summoner of the beasts of land and sea, and leader of the revolut1on,   
AT1: yeah, 1t d1dn’t end well, buuuut, 1t got somewhere, I guess,   
GA1: I Am 0+nly Go+ing To+ Say This 0+nce, And I Perso+nally Mean No+ 0+ffence By It, But:   
GA1: My Grub Will No+t Be Happy To+ See Yo+u When He Returns, No+w That Yo+u Have Intro+duced Yo+urself.   
AT1: uhh, why,?   
GA1: Yo+u Tried To+ Fight The Vio+lence With Mo+re Vio+lence, A Premise Which He Is Against, Being A Pacifist And All.   
GA1: I, Ho+wever, See Why It Had To+ Be Do+ne, But I Do+ubt He Will.   
GA1: Besides, I Think He Isn’t Very Fo+nd 0+f Yo+u, Seeing The Exchange Earlier.   
AT1: wa1t, what are you, trying to say,?   
AT1: 1 don’t understand,?   
AT1: who 1s ‘your grub’,?   
AC1: :?c > Mew don’t meow?   
AT1: 1 don’t what,?   
AC1: |:< > Know*  
AT1: ooh,   
AT1: no, 1 don’t, what 1s 1t,?   
AC1: :|| > DIBS NOT IT  
GA1: I, To+o+, Shall Call ‘Dibs-No+t-It’.   
AT1: uhh,   
AT1: }:?  
AG2: Okay, I just scrolled up a little, and I am soooooooo sorry I missed your message!   
TC1: don’t tell my moirails im here, but i’m all mother fucking calling dibs not it too.   
AG2: Aaaaaaaanyway, I’m Pre-Scratch Vriska Serket >::::).  
AG2: 8asically the 8est pir8 there is.   
AG2: Although the seas on 8eforus were proooooooo8a8ly not as treacherous as the ones on Alternia.   
AG1: They really weren’t.   
AG1: Alternia’s seas were not only full of scummy 8ottom-dwellers who thought they were 8etter than everyone else, 8ut there was also a huge monstrosity known as the Emissary to the HorrorTerrors, gl'8goly8 down there. A entity known to 8e a8le to release the Vast Glu8, a type of psychic power which, once released and heard inside the mind of a troll, 8ecomes louder and louder, until they die a horri8le, painful death. It kills off trolls from the lowest rung of the hemospectrum first, then all the way up to the very highest. Long story short: it kills all of trollkind once it is released.   
AG1: It also looks ‘fuckin ugly’, apparently.   
AG1: The Empress and respective Heiresses are adopted 8y the Emissary, and raised 8y it. It’s a lusus for Heiresses, which in of itself is fucking weird, too.   
AG2: My Gog you like to talk.   
AG2: Do you ever shut up for like, eight seconds?   
AG1: Don’t you _want_ to learn a 8it a8out Alternian history?   
AG2: Y’know, I really don’t?   
AG1:   
AG1: I don’t like you.   
AG2: I feel indifferent towards you.   
AG1: You little 8itch!   
AG2: You’re the 8itch!!!!!!!!   
CA2: girls please youre both pretty you dont have ta get into a meow-beast fight about it.   
CA2: not everyone finds history as interestin as i do.   
CA2: by the way, that thing you were talkin about was actually real interestin.   
AG1: I...   
AG1: I wasn’t going to go into a meow-beast fight.   
AG1: She started it.   
AG2: I did N8T!   
AG2: I introduced myself and you 8utted in!   
CA2: she has a point.   
CA2: even if it was just to give everyone a history lesson, it’s still a valid point she’s givin.   
AG2: HA!!!!!!!!   
CA2: let’s not get too smug now.   
AG1: Aren’t sea-dwellers supposed to have a “wavy accent”?   
CA2: hey, i outgreww that accent when i turned 60.   
CA2: outgrew* fuck.   
CA2: took bout 30 swweeps though  
CA2: sweeps*  
AG1: 30 sweeps?   
CA2: im almost as old at the –Empress give me a break.   
AG1: No, I mean, it took you 30 sweeps for you to outgrow it?   
CA2: it was more so unlearnin the stutter that took ages, it still comes through sometimes though.   
CA2: old habits die hard, or some shit like that.   
CA2: i meant accent.   
CA2: not stutter.   
CA2: FUCK.   
AG1: It’s a stutter?!   
AG1: Wait, does that apply to your...   
AG1: What was the phase Vriska used again?   
AG1: Oh yes, “Dancestor”   
AG1: Does it apply to your Dancestor, too?   
CA2: i dunno, i mean it could.   
CA2: but i doubt stutterins genetic.   
AG1: Oh my Gog, that’s hilarious.   
CA2: no it aint.   
AG1: Not you, the the _other_ CA in here, if he calls it an “accent” and he’s actually covering up a stutter its a8solutely hilarious!!!!!!!!   
AG1: It’s more 8lackmail material on him XXXXD.   
CA2: oh okay that is pretty fuckin funny.   
CA2: i mean, from what ive heard the guy’s an asshole  
CA1: im still fuckin ere yknowvw.   
CA2: an i dont give a fuck.   
CA1: an it aint a fuckin stutter it’s a fuckin ACCENT you DUM8 8ITCH.   
AG1: DENIAL!!!!!!!!   
GC1: do you w4nt to c4ll th1s c4s3 to th3 court?   
AG1: uh  
CA2: shit this is my fault aint it.   
GC1: tbh bro th3yve 4lw4ys b33n l1k3 th1s, no worr13s.   
CA2: i still catalysed it though.   
GC1: im th31r 4usp1c3, 1 c4n d34l.   
CA2: oooh, shit, sorry.   
GC1: dw bout 1t.   
GC1: 4nyw4y, M1ndf4ng, you w4nt3d to 4rgu3 4 pot3nt14l c4s3 to th3 court, corr3ct?   
AG1: (I can’t 8elieve this is happening right now, 8ut)  
AG1: YES, I DID!   
AG1: The o8vious fact that dualscar’s dum8 accent is _actually_ a stutter!   
GC1: hmm, 1nt3r3st1ng...   
GC1: 4nd wh4t do3s th3 d3f3nc3 s4y?   
CA1: (wvwere actually doin this. right nowvw.)   
CA1: that it aint.   
CA1: it is, in fact, a wvwell-established accent that seadwvwellers do.   
CA1: because wvwe can and to showvw wvwere more better off than you measly peasants.   
AT1: caste1sm, }:/,  
GC1: hmm, 4 cl4ss1c st43m3nt...   
GC1: but 4lso 4 cl4ss1c 3v4s1v3 m4n3uv3r! >:]  
GC1: M1ndf4ng, pr3s3nt your 3v1d3nc3 to the court!   
GC2: HOLD 1T!!   
GC2: HOLD 3V3RYTH1NG!!!   
GC2: *CL1CKS* M4K4R4, G1F M3.   
TC2:[ >8o]](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/aceattorney/images/3/3b/Holdit.gif/revision/latest?cb=20080902204342)  
TC2:[ >:o]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/95e7d185d07c7a0a82e5cc4e8bc777da/tumblr_n61pu6oUlf1qepp80o3_250.gif)   
GC2: TH4NKS, M4K4R4.   
TC2:[ ;o)](https://media.giphy.com/media/NRW2yP1aoYTsY/giphy.gif)   
GC1: wh4t? >:?  
GC2: TO PR3S3NT SOM3TH1NG, ON3 N33DS SOM3ON3 TO PR3S3NT 1T TOO! >:]  
GC1: oh! good th1nk1ng >;]  
GC2: 1 TRY >;]  
GC1: 1 now 4nnounc3 you th3 judg3 of th1s court, 1 hop3 you c4n b3 1mp4rt1al >B]   
GC2: YOU B3T 1 C4N B3 >8]   
GC2: 1’V3 B33N STOPP1NG M4K4R4 4ND L31JON FROM R3C13V1NG J41L S3NT3NC3S FOR SW33PS. 1 DON’T 3V3N L1K3 M4K4R4 TH4T MUCH.   
GC2: L31JON 1S 4W3SOM3 THOUGH.   
GC1: th4t’s f41r, our l31jon 1s p dop3 too.   
AC1: X3c > r33ly!! (=^•^=)  
AC2: X33 < daww your making me blush   
AC2: X33 <[ (^⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄^⁄) ](https://media.giphy.com/media/QLM8z2KoL0OME/giphy.gif)  
TC2: wow rood. And after I gif’d you too 3o:<   
TC2: but at the same time, idc cause my kitty sis is makin the most adorable noise ever rn  
TC2: so mother fuckin cute is2g  
TC2: I have the best mother fuckin matesprit  
TC2: it is me.   
AC2: X33 <[ (⁄'⁄ω⁄'⁄) ](https://media.giphy.com/media/dILZwwhulFUn6/giphy.gif)   
TC2: just LoOk at this mother fucking shit omg   
TC2: YOURE SO MOTHER FUCKING CUTE   
TC2:[ Xo3 ](https://media.giphy.com/media/AU9st1hWuzMwU/giphy.gif)   
TC2:[ Xo)](https://media.giphy.com/media/bMLGNRoAy0Yko/giphy.gif)  
GC2: ORD3R 1N TH3 COURT!!!   
TC2: WAIT WE’RE DOING COURT ROLEPLAY?   
GC2: (SORT OF, ONLY 1M B31NG TH3 JUDG3 4ND R4DGL4R3’S B31NG THE L3G3SL4T3RROR.) W3 4R3 CURR3NTLY 1N TH3 PROC3SS OF G1V1NG 3V1D3NC3 TO TH3 COURT, 4M 1 CORR3CT?   
GC1: (r4dgl4r3 holy sh1z!! 1 lov3 1t!!)   
GC2: (>;])  
TC2: (ooh okay I aint getting involved in this then)   
GC2: (GOOD C4US3 1T DO3SN’T CONC3RN YOU TH1S T1M3)   
TC2: (thank the non-existant gOgS)   
GC1: m1ss M1ndf4ng, would you c4r3 to show your 3v1denc3?   
AG1: (oh my Gog, I actually feel stupid for doing this, I haven’t roleplayed since my FLARPing days when I was a wriggler)   
TC2: (youre missin out, brosis)   
AG1: *Mindfang presents a screen-shot of the post CA2 wrote previously* This message clearly states that the ‘accent’ was, in fact, a stutter.   
CA1: that may be the case, howvwevwver –  
CA2: what the fuck is that meant to say, however?   
GC2: *GC2 B4NGS DOWN H3R G4VEL ONTO TH3 D3SK* ORD3R 1 S4Y!  
GC2: (1S YOUR T1TL3 4CTU4LLY DU4LSC4R? JUST CH3CK1NG.)   
CA1: (yea it is)   
GC2: (OK4Y, GOOD) DU4LSC4R, YOU M4Y PROC33D.   
CA1: as i wvwas sayin, CA2 also stated that he doubted stutterin ta be a genetic trait.   
CA1: *Dualscar then presents the screenshot of CA2’s message statin that, in the most smuggest way possible*  
GC2: TH4T 1S 4LSO CORR3CT 1NFORM4T1ON.   
GC2: WH4T DO YOU H4V3 TO S4Y TO TH1S, M1NDF4NG? HOW W1LL YOU D1SPUT3 TH1S?   
AG1: If my descendant is to 8e trusted, and in this regard I know she is, CA2’s Clone, whom I shall call EA for anonymity as he is still a wriggler, speaks with a stutter on his “w”’s and “v”’s, doubling each one in his speech.   
AG1: In a similar way, CA2, al8eit accidentally, did the same thing while typing ‘sweep’ and ‘outgrew’, wherein he dou8led the w in each word, before correcting himself afterward.   
AG1: CA2 also stated that it could possi8ly 8e a genetic trait, despite the dou8t he showed afterward.   
AG1: *Mindfang shows this information to the court, and smirks at Dualscar, in a ‘How a8out that, 8itch?’ way. Mindfang has all the receipts. _All of them._ *   
carcinoGriever [CG1], terminatedAncipital [TA1], and terrifyingClowns [TC1] are no longer idle!   
TA1: WHAT THE FUCK DIID II C0ME BACK T0.   
TA1: <IIN5ERT TWENTY-TW0 QUERYN00DLE5>   
TC1: holy mother fucking shit court roleplay this is amazing  
TC1: I HAVEN’T DONE THIS SHIT SINCE I WAS LIKE 9.   
CT1: D=> You were actually 15 last I checked.   
TC1: fuck you that doesn’t count.   
CT1: D=> Well you weren’t saying that when –  
TC1: DON’T YOU MOTHER FUCKING DARE.   
CG1: WHAT THE *FUCK* IS G9ING 9N RIGHT N9W???   
)(er Imperious Condescension logged the fuck on!   
TA1: N0T UNTIIL Y0U GET A NEW HANDLE Y0U D0N’T.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] banned the fuck out of )(er Imperious Condescension!  
TC1: :oO  
CT1: D=> !   
CG1: O:B  
AC1: :Oc > (=ﾟOﾟ=)  
AG1: (Pardon the 8r8k in character) ::::O  
GC1: (p4rdon m1n3, too) >:O  
CA1: (wvwhat the fuck.)   
AT1: }:O,   
AT1: you d1dnt, d1d you,   
AA1: 低血が表します！上司その雌犬を見ます！ 0ω0 [low blood represent! show that bitch who boss!]   
GA1: :O  
TC1: SHE IS GONNA BE MOTHER FUCKING *PISSED*.  
CG1: H9LY SHIT PSII!   
TA1: 0H, WHAT’5 5HE G0NNA D0, KIILL ME.   
TA1: <IIN5ERT QUERYN00DLE>   
TA1: WHAT A _RELIIEF_!   
TA1: >>BD  
TC1: or should i say... *fished*!  
TC1: :oD  
CG1: IS THAT A SH9UTP9LE I SEE, PSII? I TH9UGHT Y9U WANTED T9 “5TIICK FIIRMLY T0 (Y9UR) QUIIRK”?   
TA1: FUCK 0FF, II NEEDED T0 5H0W 5ARCA5M 50MEH0W.   
TC1: get it, it’s a fish pun, and she’s a fish.   
CG1: AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING, ARR9W-ARR9W 6 D?   
TA1:   
TA1: IIT’5 5UPP05ED T0 BE MY H0RNS, 5HADE5 AND A HAPPY FACE.   
CG1: 9H.   
CG1: IT ACTUALLY L99KS HALFWAY DECENT.   
TA1: 0NE, D0N’T FUCKIING LIIE, Y0U THIINK IIT’5 5TUPIID. TW0, HALFWAY II5 EXACTLY WHAT II WA5 AIIMIING F0R.   
TC1: ANYONE? NO? COME THE FUCK ON.   
TC1: messiahs above do i get my hate on about mother fucking fish puns.   
CG1: WHY DID Y9U USE 9NE THEN?   
TC1: SOMEONE HAD TO.   
TC1: and it was obvious it aint gonna be the other TC.   
TC2: I take mother fuckin offence on that. I can do fish puns if I wanna, I just dont. Theyre stupid  
TC1: I MOTHER FUCKING KNOW, RIGHT!!   
cuttlefishConservation [CC2] joined the memo!  
CC2: I like fis)( puns!   
CC2: I sink their finny 38D  
CC2: )(-E)(-E)(---E!!   
CA2: oh look what the sharks dragged in.   
CC2: O)(. YOU’R—E )(-ER-E. w)(at, did your )(OITY-TOITY S)(-ELF FALL INTO A W)(IRLPOOL AGAIN?   
CA2: whale, you’d be the one who caused it, conchidering.   
CC2: O)(, YOU PUTRID –  
TA2: GUY2 PLE42E!!   
TA2: II PIITY YOU BOTH, 4ND THII2 II2, 4ND 4LW4Y2 WIILL BE, COMPLETELY TERRIIBLE FOR ME TWO WIITH2T4ND.   
TA2: WHY MU2T II PL4Y TEMPOR4RY 4U2PIICE.   
TA2: WHY.   
TA2: oh, 4nd my counterp4rt doe2n’t w4nt piitch iin the memo, 2o ju2t do iit in priiv4te, k4y guys?   
CC2: S)(OALUX!!! <3  
CA2: ugh fiiine.   
CA2: <>  
CC2: Ocray, I will.   
CC2: )(ow )(ave you B-E—EN, S)(oalux?   
TA2: pretty good, ii 4m, well, *well*.  
TA2: 2hiit’2 h4ppened that’2 been fuckiing weiird a2 FUCK but ii gue22 everythiing’2 been ...   
TA2: ok4y.   
CC2: T)(at’s good!   
CC2: I missed you in the dreambubbles 38(  
TA2: ye4h, iit w42 pretty 2hiit there, ii couldn’t fiind 4nyone ii 4ctu4lly w4nted two talk two.   
CC2: Knot even --ERIDAN? 38/ weird.   
TA2: couldn’t fiind hiim, eiither... ii thiink he prob4bly got lo2t there.   
CA2: wwhat, no, no i didnt.   
CA2: ...   
CA2: you dont knoww that.   
TA2: you fuckiing DIID, oh my GOG.   
TC1: im bored now :o|.  
crockersCondescension [CC1] has joined the fucking memo!   
CC1: im back motha glubbas.   
TC1: WHELP.   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] has banned himself from the memo!   
TC2: what the fuck did he even dO that deserves bAnNiNg himself?   
TA1: PLEA5E JU5T LEAVE.   
CC1: i got a new fuckin name didnt i?   
TC2: what did I do?   
TC2: oh wait nm.   
CC1: i can do wat the fuck i want  
TA1: THEN MAKE LIIKE A FII5H AND 5WIIM THE FUCK 0UT.   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] has unbanned himself from the memo!   
TC1: :oP  
TC1: HA!   
terrifyingClowns [TC1] has rebanned himself from the memo!   
CC1: clownfish wtf  
CC1: seariously  
CC1: your actin all motha fuckin stupid  
terrifyingClowns [TC1] has re-unbanned himself from the memo!   
TC1: fuck you.   
TC1: >:oP  
terrifyingClowns [TC1] has re-un-rebanned himself from the memo!   
TA1: ARE Y0U IIN 0R 0UT 0R WHAT?   
TA1: ...   
TA1: FUCKIING HELL, GH.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] has un-re-unbanned terrifyingClowns [TC1] from the memo!   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] has banned terrifyingClowns [TC1] from banning himself from the memo!   
TC1: BRO WTF?   
TA1: 5T0P ACTIING 5TUPIID THEN.   
TC1: >:ol  
CC1: so  
CC1: wtf  
TC1: YOU THE FUCK.   
CC1: who tf?   
TC1: they the fuck.   
CC1: why tf?   
TC1: FUCKING HELL.   
CC1: 3>8/  
TC1: >:o|  
CC1: 3>8P  
TC1: >:o/  
CC1: 38l  
TC1: :o|  
CC1: 38O  
TC1: :ol  
CC1: 38O~ ?   
TC1: Do: !!   
CC1: 38D~ !   
TC1: :oI ...   
CC1: 383~ ?   
TC1: :oU ...   
CC1: 3>8)   
CC1: 3> 8)   
CC1: 3>8)   
CC1: 3> 8)   
TC1: :oI ...!   
CC1: oooooh tf  
TC1: shut the fuck up.   
CC1: gtfo  
TC1: NO YOU.   
CC1: lmao  
CC1: forkin S)(--ELL ive missed u 38D  
TC1: *rooooooooooooooooooll*  
TC1: *AND BY THAT I MEANT AN EYE ROLL, NOT SOME MIRACULOUSLY GRACEFUL MOTHER FUCKING ACROBATIC PIROUETTE OVER A MOTHER FUCKING METAPHORICAL HANDLE*  
TC2: did you just communicate using emoticons alone, and you actually uNdErStOoD eachother?   
TC1: uh yeah?   
TC2: mOtHeR FUCK! :oO  
TC2: that is weird  
TC2: its cool though I wanna do that  
TC1: BRO, YOU COMMUNICATE WITH MOTHER FUCKING GIFS, THAT IS BASICALLY THE SAME MOTHER FUCKING THING.   
TC2: IT   
TC2: oh fuck it kinda is isn’t it  
TC1: eyup.   
TC2: mother fuck.   
CG1: ARE Y9U QUITE D9NE?   
TC1: EH, SORTA, IM BORED NOW.   
CG1: HAVE A NAP.   
TC1: probably a good idea.   
CC1: glubbin heck i jus got ere too  
TC1: BUT FISHSIS.   
TC1: i am the hells of sleepy.   
CC1: have a nice nap then fatass  
TC1: MY RUMP IS MOTHER FUCKING GLORIOUS THANK YOU VERY MOTHER FUCKING MUCH.   
TC1: honk ;o)   
TA1: BYE THEN.   
TC1: SEE YA MOTHER FUCKERS  
terrifyingClowns [TC1] left the memo!  
CC1: so besides clownfish leavin, fish is erryone rite?   
TA1: PRETTY MUCH. 0NE GUY LEFT EARLIIER, BUT THAT'5 0NLY BECAU5E THE TW0 0F THEM HAVE T0 5HARE THE DEVIICE THEY'RE U5ING. HE'5 BA5IICALLY 5TIILL HERE.   
AT1: pretty much, yeah,   
AT1: 1'M, jUST S1TT1NG NEXT TO RUF AND READ1NG OVER THE MEMO, tO MAKE SURE MY AUSP1CES DON'T GET 1NTO ANY ARGUMENTS,   
AT1: so yeah, 1ts bas1cally everyone,   
CC1: huh, thought it bay a lil more busier  
TA1: EVERY0NE II5 CHATTIING T0 PE0PLE PRIIVATELY.   
TA1: PR0BABLY.   
CC1: so  
CC1: how are ya  
TA1: BETTER.   
TA1: N0W II’M N0T EN5LAVED.   
TA1: 0R 5URR0UNDED BY BII0WIIRE5.   
TA1: 0R F0RCED T0 PURGE PLANET5 WIITH MY MIIND.   
TA1: 0R WATCHIING MY BE5T FRIIEND DIIE.   
TA1: AGAIIN, AND AGAIIN, AND AGAIIN.   
TA1: REALLY, II C0ULD G0 0N.   
CC1: I get it  
TA1: Y0U REALLY D0N’T TH0UGH, THAT’5 THE P0IINT.   
CG1: WE’RE VEERING VERY CL9SE T9 6EING HYP9CRITICAL, PSII.   
TA1: WHAT.   
CG1: Y9U DIDN’T WANT “BLACK SHIT” AND YET.   
TA1: THII5 II5 DIIFERENT.   
CG1: H9W?   
TA1: 5HE DE5ERVE5 IIT.   
TA1: 5HE G0T Y0U KIILLED, 5L.   
TA1: 5HE RUIINED EVERY0NE’5 LIIVE5. IINCLUDIING MY 0WN.   
TA1: Y0U WANT ME T0 TAKE THAT LYIING D0WN?   
CG1: I'M N9T SAYING THAT. LIKE, AT ALL. WHAT THE FUCK. SERI9USLY.   
CG1: I MEAN, 6Y ALL MEANS, CARRY THE FUCK 9N.   
CG1: Y9U’RE RIGHT, AFTER ALL.   
CG1: THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING T9 SAY THIS WHOLE TIME.   
CG1: I JUST D9N’T WANT Y9U SEEMING LIKE A HYP9CRITE.   
TA1: UH... WHAT.   
TA1: <QUERYN00DLE5 EVERYWHERE>   
CG1: “IIF Y0U’RE G0NNA ATTEMPT T0 GET QUADRANTY HERE, II A5K THAT Y0U PLEA5E D0 IIT IIN PRIIVATE.”   
CG1: REGARDING AN ARGUEMENT BETWEEN TC2, CT2 AND MAY6E AG2? IT WASN’T REALLY CLEAR.   
TA1: 0H FUCK, YEAH, THAT.   
TA1: ERM.   
TA1: GR055.   
TA1: II   
TA1: WE’RE N0T   
CC1: were knot?   
TA1: FUCK.   
TA1: N0.   
CC1: and da truth?   
TA1:   
TA1: II AM G0IING T0 5H0VE MY HEAD IINT0 MY L0ADGAPER, II’LL BE RIIGHT BACK.   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] is now idle!   
CG1: D9 Y9U MIND N9T MAKING MY M9IRAIL SICK? THAT W9ULD 6E GREAT.   
CC1: fork off mutie  
CC1: basshole  
CC1: u fink shore hot shit?   
CG1: HEY, I *KN9W* I’M H9T SHIT.   
CG1: I HAVE CANDY-RED 6LOOD.   
CG1: I’M 6ASICALLY SWELTERING.   
CG1: THAT IS H9W H9T I AM. LITERAL. FUCKING. LAVA.   
CC1: stop bein a smartbass  
TC2: does rocks float on lava?   
CG1: N   
CG1: WHAT.   
CG2: Makara.   
CC1: omfg   
TC2: well, do they?   
CG2: ‘Does rocks’?   
CT2: B --> Oh my goodness  
CC1: I fuckin luv clowns is2g  
CT2: B --> That is  
CT2: B --> So bad   
CT2: B --> Holy clop   
TC2: no one is answering the question  
CG2: Because *now* isn’t the time for your nightly fucking segment of ‘Life Contemplating Questions with The Chucklefuck’.   
CG2: This Episode: Lava Rocks. Last Episode: Legs That Don’t Know They’re Legs.   
CG2: The next episode is as much of a mystery as your lack of coherent thought in your thinkpan.   
TC2: :o(   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] is no longer idle!   
TA1: II'M BACK.   
TA1: WHAT THE FUCK.   
TA1: IIT DEPEND5 0N THE TYPE 0F R0CK.   
TA1: M05T D0N’T, II THIINK.   
TC2: FINALLY, AN ANSWER.   
TC2: THANK YOU.   
TA1: N0 PR0BLEM.   
TC2: so...   
TC2: ...   
TC2: what’s heavier, a kilogram of steel or a kilogram of feathers?   
CG2: They’re both a kilogram.   
TC2: but   
TC2: BUT ISNT STEEL HEAVIER THAN FEATHERS?   
GA1: Yes Dear, Ho+wever They Are Bo+th The Same Weight In That Senario+, 0+ne Kilo+gram.   
TC2:[ :o? ](http://i.makeagif.com/media/9-15-2015/CVPnUv.gif)   
TC2: I DONT GET IT :oS  
CT2: B --> *Sigh*  
TA1: N0W, EVERY0NE HA5 BEEN AQUAIINTED, RIIGHT.   
TA1: BE5IIDE5 THE ARRIIVAL 0F THE TW0 EMPRE55E5, EVERY0NE KN0W5 WH0 EVERY0NE II5.   
TC2: think so   
CG1: LAST I CHECKED, THEY WERE.   
GA1: I Feel As If Everyo+ne Sho+uld Add Each 0+ther’s Handle, Just In Case An Emergency Arises. Especially When It Co+mes Do+wn To+ Shenanigans With 0+ur Descendants.   
GA1: I Mean, So+mething Awful Co+uld Happen To+ Them 0+r Invo+lving Them And I Believe We Sho+uld Be In To+uch With A Relative 0+f Theirs Straight Away If Such A Matter Arises.   
TA2: th4t’2 4ctu4lly 4 good iide4.   
TA1: IIF IIT HELP5, II’VE KEPT A L0G 0F EVERY0NE’5 HANDLE THAT II5 CURRENTLY (0R PREVII0U5LY, IIN GH’5 AND AT2'5 CA5E) IIN THI5 MEM0, IIF ANY0NE NEED5 IIT.   
GA2: That’s Good, We Will Probably Need To Refer To It Soon   
GA2: At Least I Will, Anyway   
TA1: REMEMBER: ADD ME (terminatedAncipital) AND II WIILL GIIVE Y0U THE RE5PECTIIVE HANDLE 0F THE PER50N Y0U WANT ADDIING.  
TA1: LIIMIITED TIIME 0NLY.   
TA1: 5PECIIAL 0FFER:   
TA1: ADD WIITHIIN THE WEEK AND Y0U GET THE LII5T F0R FREE.   
TA1: TW0 WEEK5, AND II’LL GIIVE A 50% DI5C0UNT 0N THE PRIICE.   
TA1: THREE WEEK5, Y0U’LL HAVE T0 PAY FULL PRIICE.   
TA1: WHIICH II5 22,222,222.22 B00NBUCK5.   
TA1: 50ME0NE REMIIND GH, HE’5 G0NNA F0RGET.   
CG1: WHY THE FUCK ARE Y9U CHARGING IN THE FIRST PLACE?   
TA1: H0W THE FUCK EL5E AM II 5UPP05ED T0 MAKE M0NEY IIN THII5 DWIINDLIING, FUCKED UP EC0N0MY.   
AC1: :|c > god damn it, psii  
GC1: w41t you c4n’t clos3 th3 m3mo y3t, w3 h4v3n’t f1n1shed our court rp >8[   
TA1: D0 THAT IIN PRIIVATE THEN. LIIKE H0LY 5HIIT, IT II5N’T THAT HARD T0 ADD AND ME55AGE A GUY.  
TA1: AND THEN 0PEN A PRIIVATE MEM0.   
TA1: LIIKE, 5C EVEN DIID A TUT0RIIAL EARLIIER 0N THE FIIR5T BIIT.   
TA1: IIF Y0U NEED ANY M0RE HELP THAN THAT, Y0U CAN FUCKIING A5K 50LLUX.   
TA2: who, me?   
TA1: N0, THE 0THER 50LLUX. WRIIGGLER 50LLUX.   
TA1: Y0U’RE 5C.   
TA1: 50LLUX W0ULD PR0BABLY BE 5X.   
TA2: ehehehehehehe, 2x.   
TA1: EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH.   
CG1: 9H, FUCK ME. ARE ALL CAPT9RS LIKE THIS? SERI9USLY?   
TA1: WAIIT.   
TA2: oh gog ii ju2t re4lii2ed.   
TA1: 0H G0G.   
TA2: why!!!!!!   
TA1: N00000000000000000PEEEEEEEEEEE.   
CG1: WAIT, IS THAT BR9WN-6L99D WH9 SASSED ME EARLIER THE SUMM9NER??   
TA1: WELP, II’M ENDIING THE MEM0 HERE.   
CG1: PSII N9!!   
TA1: PSII YE5.   
TA1: <IIN5ERT 200 5H0UTP0LE5>   
terminatedAncipital [TA1] closed the memo! 

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in may and had a june hiatus on it then picked it up in july. I cant remember my beforus headcanons  
> Besides, this was just coding practice for my main fics for Homestuck coming as soon as I can get off my lazy arse and fucking *write* them already. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this crack-fic!


End file.
